Addendum to the Last Update

June 29, 2022

I am past the point where I feel I absolutely have to be with him in my future. I do hope we will remain friends and lovers. I do appreciate him greatly and need his input. I absolutely love him and would drop everything to be with him. My life wouldn’t be the same without him in it, but I know it is highly unlikely we will ever marry or even live together. Plus, I have my problems too I don’t want him to get caught up in. I sleep a lot due to my meds and such. After being a caregiver to my ex for so long, I would not want him to have to do that for me, and possibly resenting me.

A Long-Overdue Update

June 26, 2022

It’s been a while since I’ve updated everyone what’s going on. And really there’s not much going on. I am planning on going to East next month and meeting up with my MM. I will be staying four nights and three days basically. I’ve been having a lot of car problems lately. Whereas I was going to drive in to see him, I am now taking Amtrak which is something new for me. The funny thing is though I book my tickets for the train and two days later I get a knock on the door and I look out and there’s a huge box from Amazon on my doorstep. A few minutes later he texts me and says “did you get my package?” He bought me brand new luggage for the trip so I have more room to pack and it’s hard sided for added protection. It’s like a $200 suitcase.

So obviously we’re still in the midst of it all. We still message almost every day. He admitted the other day he wished he could help me more but just does not really have access to his money as his W is in control of the books. They just bought a new house again and at the moment are paying two mortgages at least until the school year starts so they can keep their youngest son in the same school district. Their oldest boy graduated just this past week. The youngest graduates next year. But right now it looks like they are both going to stay in the house for the moment which is why they bought a bigger house.

I took a risk and came right out and told him my ultimate goal was to have him 24/7/365. He didn’t really say too much about that, I’m sure he already knew that. He did say I might not like him full-time because he really gets grumpy when he doesn’t have his own space and alone time. I mean well that’s to be expected… He basically lived on his own on the road for many many years. He still has his own space because his W works and he has his own little studio for painting. So who knows what will happen. I really don’t expect anything but my options are open.

Meanwhile I’m working with my car problems. My old car I could not afford to keep up anymore so I bought a different one and sold the one I had. Then the very next day the car I bought broke down. I can’t afford much so I thought I had gotten a deal but obviously not. It was so bad that the dealership actually gave me back some of my money. That car is currently in the repair shop. They fixed one thing wrong with it but they are not quite sure what else is wrong with it. So I really haven’t had a car for about two weeks now. It’s very frustrating as I have doctor appointments I’ve been rescheduling over and over again that I really need to get to to see. Including my oncologist.

So that’s what’s been going on here. My ex is having the usual problems. He goes in August for an evaluation to see if he has Lewy body dementia, which is the same thing Robin Williams had before he committed suicide. If he has dementia he will have to be moved to a different facility a little further away but not horribly far.

TOY TEST – WildOne Silicone Buttplug Set

June 25, 2022

First let’s start with the Amazon description:

  • 3 DIFFERENT SIZES: We combine 3 most popular design shapes Anal Plugs Training Set. Whether you are a beginner or an advanced user, you can find the size that will makes you excited. The small Anal plug has smooth shape and easily to insert which suitable for beginners. The medium plug has more plentiful stimulation and enhance your pleasure. The large plug comes with anal bead design. Every inch will stimulate your body. Giving you an amazing sexual experience!
  • SAFE & COMFORTABLE MATERIAL: 3 Pcs Anal Training Set are made from 100% silicone. Anal-friendly material is non-porous and phthalate-free. You will feel the silky silicone touch, experience heavenly and intoxicating moments of pleasure. The Anal plugs are waterproof, easily to clean with soap and water, dishwasher safe.
  • FLARED T-BAR BASE DESIGN: The Flared T-bar base can be used as a handle. It’s easily for you to hold and grip. No fear of inserting the anal plug too deep inside and hard to pull it out. You can wear it in any situation, at office, at home, sleeping, shopping or dating. It stimulates your perineum during wearing it and double your pleasure!
  • PLEASURE FOR MEN & WOMEN: The T-flared plug has ergonomically designed allow it to fill all your private part and erogenous zones for feeling extra intense sensation. Using butt trainer plugs to stimulate prostate and vaginal wall for men and women. This is perfect for anyone who loves anal play, definitely could spice up your night.
  • DISCREET PACKAGING: We value our customers’ privacy. The Silicone Anal Trainer Set will be shipped to you with brand discreet box. If you have any question, please feel free to contact us.

All of this is true, so points for that. But if you have any anal experience at all, you will find these rather boring. There is nothing exciting about them. I did like the shape of the middle-sized one — the flared bulb is really good — but the sizes were small, even for beginners. The largest one slipped in without any problems, but you all know how much I like anal toys so I have quite a bit of experience.

The real good point on this set is that the stems are sturdy enough to keep constant pressure on. I’ve had silicone toys all but collapse when I tried to push them in. The stems could be slightly bigger and firmer, but they do hold up.

It’s a nice set, don’t get me wrong. It it is a basic set. If you are just starting out, this might be good for you if you are scared. If you are experienced, skip this and find a bolder set.

Overall I give it a 3.5 because of its lack of ingenuity. It’s good, but basic.

You can see the video of my tests on my Pornhub starting Sunday June 26 here –

You can order the set from Amazon here –

TOY TEST – Ifonnx Envi Clitoral Stimulator

June 19, 2022

This toy left me somewhat confused and a bit underwhelmed. Although the box said a user manual was included, I could not find one; instead there was a card looking for people to join their toy testers. The shape of this vibe left me wondering. I guessed in a good situation the smaller end could rest against the outside of the vulva while the dildo end nestled inside (kind of like a paperclip would set). I think I actually broke the curved neck of the toy while trying to use it, as there was an audible crack, but that actually made it more flexible and easier to use. Since the smaller end has pressure points on the inside curve, that has to be able to be held against the more sensitive areas such as the clit. A user’s manual or a video on their website would be a good idea for clueless users like myself. While there are probably myriads of ways to use it, knowing the basics would be good.

I did enjoy the larger dildo end. It was girth enough to give me a little stretch and the 10 vibration patterns gave enough variety to scroll through. However I felt the motor could be stronger. The vibrations weren’t as strong as I like them and seemed to missing a high gear. The smaller end was the better toy for me, once I found the right spot. I was getting a bit frustrated until I broke that neck and was able to use those nubs against my clit.

Overall it’s a good toy, though under-powered, especially for the price of it. I give it a 3.2 out of 5 so it is well above average.

The Ifonnx Envi can be purchased here –

The full video of my test will be on my Pornhub – – once this review is published.

TOY TEST – Sohimi Butterfly Panty Vibe

May 29, 2022

This is a nice toy, but not one you could really wear out in the world easily.

I was looking for something for public play. This item not only has the regulatory low-profile vibrator, it also includes an insertable dildo-like section also.

The dildo makes it hard to wear outside. It is a little long and a little thick. A good strong pair of panties will be needed to hold it in place. I found it a little long to stay in, but then again my vagina is a little short due to my hysterectomy. There was a good half-inch of length that I just could not keep in. It slipped out easily.

However the vibration itself is quite good. Very strong with good patterns to choose from.

The flatter part of the toy is shaped well, though. The wave-like designs settles nicely against clit and labia. This part is the better of the two, in my opinion. Care was taken into its design.

Overall I give this toy a 3.7 out of 5. It’s a good toy but not made for everyone. But if you want a bit of a challenge, by all means try this out!Video of my test is available on my Pornhub

You can purchase this item by clicking the link here –

Please use promo code DESTERA at checkout on this and all items at You will receive 20% off with this code!

“Hard On Us” Free this Weekend

May 19, 2022

I received this message from Donna Mitra, the author of “Hard On Us”:

“I thought it might interest you and your followers that the end of my 3 month promotion is coming up this weekend.

“For this Saturday and Sunday only (May 21st & 22nd) the ebook will be available for FREE (now also available in paperback for RPP. $16.95).

“HARD ON US: Memoir of a Sexless Marriage by Donna Mitra

“Please feel free to share widely with clients and colleagues.

“They can get it here:

“All the best

“Donna Mitra”

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