TOY TEST – Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

April 16, 2024

I could see right away how this toy got its name: It looks so innocent, but packs a punch.

It’s secret is the pinpoint accuracy this item has. With an extremely narrow tip, you can really target which erogenous zone you want to stimulate.

Unlike other vibrators or dildos whose tips are often too big to target the specific sensitive zone, the tip of this female toy is very small, so it can concentrate all vibrations on one point. In addition, this orgasm monster comes with a very powerful motor, thus the stimulation will be as powerful as possible. The motor can deliver vibrations of up to 12,000 times per minute and has seven frequency modes. The silicone skin is 100% waterproof so you can use this toy in the shower or bath.

The winning feature for me, however, is the three tips it comes with. This was a tiny bit confusing at first as it only seemed to come with one attachment besides the bulb permanently in place on it, but I soon discovered the piece was stacked together so what looked like a one piece rabbit came apart to also have a tongue licker/flicker.

I did not really get much satisfaction from the rabbit. It was hard for me to find my clit with it. I later tried it on my nipples but it didn’t do much for me. The licker was the piece that got me going the most. Incredibly the solid bulb head was the one that finished me off despite the fact I didn’t really enjoy it’s initial use first thing.

This is a powerful toy, an upgrade from Funzze’s original Orgasm Monster. This toy is larger and has a much better motor than its predecessor.

Unfortunately, due to problems with Pornhub, I cannot upload the entire toy test video at this time. Once the matter has been resolved I will get it uploaded and will share the link here on my blog.

Meanwhile, here is the unboxing video:

This is a very worthy toy. I rate it 4.7 out of 5. It is powerful fun and I found pleasure with it on my anus as well as my vagina. Would definitely recommend it. It can be purchased here: https://funzze.com/products/orgasm-monster-pro

Creeping Back to Life

March 28, 2024

I am happy to report, though that my MM has now been cleared to have the catheter PICC line removed. An MRI showed that the abscess has shrunk. At first the doctors were not sure if the due to where the abscess was near his spinal cord. At this point he still has the catheter in, but will be getting it out in three days’ time. He will return to work a couple of days after that.

I keep telling him I’m going to go through withdrawal because of all the time we’ve spent talking. Unfortunately, I was not able to go visit him due to his exhaustion and pain. We are hoping to get together real soon because we have been driving each other into a frenzy with our sexting.

At this moment I am feeling rather vulnerable. I am lonely and just want him. Permanently. I know I have said in the past that I was past the point of needing him in my life, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t want him. And to be truthful, I probably really do need him.

It’s hard for me to look ahead with a positive outlook. I have a lot going for me and I know that but I just feel empty inside. Alone. Bored. Not sure what to do with my life from here on.

I just keep going.

TOY TEST – Funzze.com Vibrating Anal Beads

March 18, 2024

In the first of my series of the collaboration of Funzze.com, I chose their Vibrating Anal Bead set and I am glad I did.

This is a fun toy. The sheer length of it is a definite challenge. I was able to get most of it inserted but I could not get the curve of the guard seated, so I was millimeters away from taking the whole thing. The description in the Funzze website says that this toy has 5.5 inches on insertable length (it has now been corrected) but I found it to be closer to 7.75 inches. Including the handle, there is over 11 inches of toy.

Also in the description on the website:

“Anal beads are a classic, essential sex toy in any collection, but this silicone wand features 10 patterns of vibration, so that you can massage your insides! With 3 powerful motors and an extra-long shaft, this anal vibrator is sure to rock your world! The beads are USB rechargeable, so you can use them anywhere, and 2 hours’ charge time will provide up to 60 minutes of play. This toy is waterproof, but should not be fully submerged.”

Having three motors is a definite asset in a piece this size – many large tots offer only one of two. Those toys are often underpowered and the user is often unable to feel any motion throughout the full toy; the vibrations are only felt in the radius of the motor. That is not a problem with this product. The vibes are strong and can be felt throughout the shaft.

A great feature of this is the five beads. Each large bead is a slightly different size and shape. The large beads also have unique ridges, each one different than the others. These ridges help rub and stimulate you even further. The tip is tapered to aid insertion and I found it feels “pointier” inside than it looks.

I liked having a “guard” on the handle or hilt of the toy. This gave me something to push against and helped insert it without having my fingers slip or slide. The buttons to control the toy are easily accessible in the hilt and are easy to figure out.

This toy does have one of my pet peeves, however – a magnetic charger. I would much rather have a push-pin charger simply because the magnets can be dislodged so easily.

This toy is a definite win, and priced around $35 it is a real bargain,

The Anal Bead Set can be found on Funzze at the link here – https://funzze.com/products/vibrating-anal-beads

Video of the unboxing and of my test is on my Pornhub – https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=65f8ef0f10f8d

ANNOUNCEMENT: Funzze.com Toy Testing

March 6, 2024

I would like to announce that I have come under agreement with Funzze.com to be a toy tester exclusively with them!

This agreement will allow me to do a monthly toy test on their products. Each month I will test a new toy and upload a review to my blog here. This agreement will last for at least one year. This will give me a steady flow of content for my readers.

I have worked with Funzze in the past and have enjoyed their products.

To read my reviews of the items I already have from them, please see:

TOY TEST – Funzze Bullet Egg with Clit Massager
TOY TEST – Funzze LED Display Wand Massager
TOY TEST – Funzze Soft Teasing Stimulator

Catching Up

March 3, 2024

It’s been a bit since I’ve updated everybody on what’s going on. I was really sick last summer into the fall and just kind of fell out of sorts. The doctors changed my medication and I’m finally doing well again.

I did get sick again at Christmas. I went to the ER on 23 December and basically had this really bad Covid/flu/whatever that’s been going around. I was down for 10 days which covered Christmas and New Year’s both. I’m finally feeling better from that and have gained my strength back.

However, over that same period of time my poor dog got really sick and I was unable to take him to the veterinarian nor was I able to get an appointment because of the holiday hours. Once I was finally able to get him into the vet, it was too late. He was experiencing kidney failure and was going into liver failure. So I had to Make the decision to put him down on January 4. He wasn’t even quite five years old but he had had problems with seizures and such since I’ve had him. He was also deaf and I’m sure he had other problems too that I was not really aware of.
That kind of just sent me back a bit emotionally.

Then Valentine’s Day hit and I didn’t hear from my guy for a couple of days during that which really got me concerned since we still talk basically almost every day. He finally sent me a little message on Saturday of that week and said he was really sick and that was like all he basically said, and I didn’t hear from him again until the following Wednesday when he told me he had been admitted into the hospital the day before. He said he would be in for at least four days because they were doing blood cultures and they weren’t quite sure what was wrong with him, I finally heard back from him then again, Friday when he told me he was finally home, but he had a PICC line because he had to give himself IV antibiotics every day for 6 weeks! Turns out that he had a very serious bacterial infection in his spine and also has an abscess in his spinal column right by his spinal cord! And if the antibiotics don’t work, he’s going to have to have surgery. 

So it’s taking everything inside of me to not run out there to play nurse to him

On the lighter side, I did get a new dog just this week. So far she’s been really good so I hope she continues on. She comes from a neglectful background because her previous “mom” had schizophrenia and is presently incarcerated. The women’s family took the dog in but they have two large dogs of their own and a couple of cats, so they were unable to keep her.

So right now things are just kind of slightly stressed, but not as bad as I have been in the past. My guy and I have been talking every day since he’s been home pretty much all day long. He gets very worn out though.

I am hoping to get more active on this blog again. Look for an announcement coming soon!!

ANNOUNCEMENT: REAF (Rochester Erotic Atts Festival)

February 29, 2024

I am pleased to announce that I have had a photograph bd accepted into the Digital Show at the Rochester (NY) Erotic Arts Festival!

The photo will be shown on screens throughout the show and a thumbnail will be provided in the program

REAF will take place April 19-21, 2024 at the Holiday Inn Auburn NY.

Back on Panytydeal

January 26, 2024

I have gone back to selling panties and other things on pantydeal.com. I don’t know how long I will be on this site. I’m just checking it out again to see if it’s worth my effort and paying the fees that are involved.

I can see already that my attitude has really changed about the site. I used to be a little more sensitive. I see it more now as a business venture dad anything else. I am offering a service. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t chat and I don’t sex, but I’ll do almost anything for photos or video

https://pantydeal.com/member/Markiemoo1138