TOY TEST – Funzze Glass Butt Plug with a Surprise

June 30, 2024

If you guys have been following me at all, then you know how much I love glass. I love the weight of it and I love the sturdy mass of it. Glass is easy for me to push in as it is a solid object with no leeway or crumpling.

When I saw this plug on the Funzze website, I felt like I had to try it out. It was a good length at four inches, and even better was quite hefty weighing in at close to 5 ounces.

As you can see the plug is a good shape too. I actually had to stop when I was pushing it in because it was stretching me and it was actually a little painful. At the end of the porn hub video you’ll see me jump around a little bit because it was a burn. However, once it was settled, and I was able to wear it for quite a while comfortably.

You will notice the sprinkled inside the bulb of this toy, I liked the look, it was unique, but also offered a surprising feature

It glows in the dark!

I recommend this toy just for that feature alone! But with the weight and the fact I had a bit of stretchy pain inserting makes this so much fun! I rate it 4.7 out of 5.

The plug can be purchased here – https://funzze.com/products/glow-in-the-dark-glass-butt-plug

My toy test including unboxing can be viewed here. It is a bit short as I accidentally recorded the test itself as time lapse. I tried to edit it best I could – https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=6681d001b843a

TOY TEST – Funzze Steel Double-Ended Dildo

May 14, 2024

This product looks deceptively simple: a curved piece of steel with knobs on each end. What good could it do? The secret lies in that curve. It makes reaching your G-spot or your prostate simple.

The knobs on each end also aid in your pleasure since they are two different sizes. The smaller one is not quite an inch in diameter and is perfect for people just beginning their exploration. The larger end boasts nearly an inch and a half diameter and is great for more experienced users. You can start with the smaller end and gradually work your way up.

My favorite part about this item is that it’s great for temperature play. I love cold steel. I even used it on my nipples to make them perk up and get extra sensitive. But this dildo can also be warmed up for more a more sensuous time. This is a high-grade surgical steel which is hand-polished, so it is very body-safe. Being steel, it will not break down as silicone often does, so you can use any variety of lube you wish.

This toy has a very hefty weight to it. It weighs in at over a pound.

The one thing I did not like about this toy is that it was not very well balanced. When I went to use the larger end in my ass, it was kind of hard to hold to get the right angle for insertion. The weight of it made it awkward and finally I had to hold it much closer to that end than I found comfortable to make it work. If it was balanced better, this awkwardness could have been avoided.

Overall I did really enjoy this toy. It works well both anally and vaginally and is one I will return to. My next adventure with it will be with it coming straight from the freezer for even more extreme temperature play. I rate it 4.7 out of 5 as I will use it again. And maybe I can even persuade my guy to share it with me 😉

The fine toy can be purchased here – https://funzze.com/products/double-ended-stainless-steel-dildo

Full video of my test can be viewed on my Pornhub – https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=6643ecefce0b9

BONUS:

Funzze is holding a special Members’ Day sale – Buy One, Get One 50% off! But you have to hurry – this sale ends May 16th!

TOY TEST – Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

April 16, 2024

I could see right away how this toy got its name: It looks so innocent, but packs a punch.

It’s secret is the pinpoint accuracy this item has. With an extremely narrow tip, you can really target which erogenous zone you want to stimulate.

Unlike other vibrators or dildos whose tips are often too big to target the specific sensitive zone, the tip of this female toy is very small, so it can concentrate all vibrations on one point. In addition, this orgasm monster comes with a very powerful motor, thus the stimulation will be as powerful as possible. The motor can deliver vibrations of up to 12,000 times per minute and has seven frequency modes. The silicone skin is 100% waterproof so you can use this toy in the shower or bath.

The winning feature for me, however, is the three tips it comes with. This was a tiny bit confusing at first as it only seemed to come with one attachment besides the bulb permanently in place on it, but I soon discovered the piece was stacked together so what looked like a one piece rabbit came apart to also have a tongue licker/flicker.

I did not really get much satisfaction from the rabbit. It was hard for me to find my clit with it. I later tried it on my nipples but it didn’t do much for me. The licker was the piece that got me going the most. Incredibly the solid bulb head was the one that finished me off despite the fact I didn’t really enjoy it’s initial use first thing.

This is a powerful toy, an upgrade from Funzze’s original Orgasm Monster. This toy is larger and has a much better motor than its predecessor.

Unfortunately, due to problems with Pornhub, I cannot upload the entire toy test video at this time. Once the matter has been resolved I will get it uploaded and will share the link here on my blog.

Meanwhile, here is the unboxing video:

This is a very worthy toy. I rate it 4.7 out of 5. It is powerful fun and I found pleasure with it on my anus as well as my vagina. Would definitely recommend it. It can be purchased here: https://funzze.com/products/orgasm-monster-pro

Creeping Back to Life

March 28, 2024

I am happy to report, though that my MM has now been cleared to have the catheter PICC line removed. An MRI showed that the abscess has shrunk. At first the doctors were not sure if the due to where the abscess was near his spinal cord. At this point he still has the catheter in, but will be getting it out in three days’ time. He will return to work a couple of days after that.

I keep telling him I’m going to go through withdrawal because of all the time we’ve spent talking. Unfortunately, I was not able to go visit him due to his exhaustion and pain. We are hoping to get together real soon because we have been driving each other into a frenzy with our sexting.

At this moment I am feeling rather vulnerable. I am lonely and just want him. Permanently. I know I have said in the past that I was past the point of needing him in my life, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t want him. And to be truthful, I probably really do need him.

It’s hard for me to look ahead with a positive outlook. I have a lot going for me and I know that but I just feel empty inside. Alone. Bored. Not sure what to do with my life from here on.

I just keep going.

TOY TEST – Funzze.com Vibrating Anal Beads

March 18, 2024

In the first of my series of the collaboration of Funzze.com, I chose their Vibrating Anal Bead set and I am glad I did.

This is a fun toy. The sheer length of it is a definite challenge. I was able to get most of it inserted but I could not get the curve of the guard seated, so I was millimeters away from taking the whole thing. The description in the Funzze website says that this toy has 5.5 inches on insertable length (it has now been corrected) but I found it to be closer to 7.75 inches. Including the handle, there is over 11 inches of toy.

Also in the description on the website:

“Anal beads are a classic, essential sex toy in any collection, but this silicone wand features 10 patterns of vibration, so that you can massage your insides! With 3 powerful motors and an extra-long shaft, this anal vibrator is sure to rock your world! The beads are USB rechargeable, so you can use them anywhere, and 2 hours’ charge time will provide up to 60 minutes of play. This toy is waterproof, but should not be fully submerged.”

Having three motors is a definite asset in a piece this size – many large tots offer only one of two. Those toys are often underpowered and the user is often unable to feel any motion throughout the full toy; the vibrations are only felt in the radius of the motor. That is not a problem with this product. The vibes are strong and can be felt throughout the shaft.

A great feature of this is the five beads. Each large bead is a slightly different size and shape. The large beads also have unique ridges, each one different than the others. These ridges help rub and stimulate you even further. The tip is tapered to aid insertion and I found it feels “pointier” inside than it looks.

I liked having a “guard” on the handle or hilt of the toy. This gave me something to push against and helped insert it without having my fingers slip or slide. The buttons to control the toy are easily accessible in the hilt and are easy to figure out.

This toy does have one of my pet peeves, however – a magnetic charger. I would much rather have a push-pin charger simply because the magnets can be dislodged so easily.

This toy is a definite win, and priced around $35 it is a real bargain,

The Anal Bead Set can be found on Funzze at the link here – https://funzze.com/products/vibrating-anal-beads

Video of the unboxing and of my test is on my Pornhub – https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=65f8ef0f10f8d