Transfer Post – Got to See Him

June 28, 2017

MM had to go in to work for a few hours. So I thought I’d check in. It’s been great fun! But he has been a tad stand-offish. Like he didn’t kiss me when he got in last night or when he went to work today. If he doesn’t kiss me goodbye tomorrow i,ll be pissed. I think its that “Pretty Woman” thing – too intimate. Yet he loves doing other crazy deeply intimate things.

But our rapport has been good. Sex has been off the charts amazing wow!!

Still tonight and early tomorrow morning to go 🙂

EDIT: Got my kiss. Nothing spectacular. We took a picture together, which is cool. He looks happy in it. But he was Sitting on the bed which made him more my height, lol. I hugged him (he hugged back) and kissed his cheek, and then his lips. No tongue. Told him bye. And then walked out. I felt good though. I told him i could walk away and know we’d still be friends. I did everything he expected of me. But now I am nervous again. Once I got to the car I realized I forgot to say thank you so i texted him a quick “like an idiot i forgot to say thank you for everything and for my birthday present. We should do it again sometime…” and he sent back “You’re welcome! Thanks for the visit.” And i said “anytime” And just now when I messaged him to tell him I made it back safely, he wrote back “Glad you made it safe and had a nice drive” Again, WTF I know he had some crap handed to him at work yesterday (he’s at work when I sent that) so maybe he’s just under some stress. Next week he is home with family for 4th of July. He and his youngest son are building a gaming computer. I guess I’ll back off a bit for now. Maybe he’s in Overload right now

Transfer Post – Upcoming Visit

June 2017

Had a talk with MM yesterday about my visit. I am planning on going to visit tomorrow. Actually there was been little time we haven’t been talking in anticipation of the visit. But this little talk changed the tone.

He wanted to make sure I didn’t expect “hearts and flowers” romance. Or a deep relationship. That it would actually “put him in a bad mood, which would not be good for either of us”. And that he wasn’t “in a mental or emotional place to do romance”. That this was just a “fun escape from the norm.”And that he “might have told me not to come if I expected hearts and flowers and serious conversation.”

WTF

But then, an hour or so later when things had gotten back to normal, he said he “takes his responsibility to me very seriously” (I think he meant to keep me horny) and that “somebody’s got to do it”. And that he likes it when I am the opposite of his wife. And a few other things that just messed with me.

Where was this the other times I visited? And I knew he can’t run off and marry me, lol.

But basically i told him too that really I am not in a position to do a relationship until I can get my own situation under control, no matter how much I might want it. And that I want to take what I can get and walk out on a high and know we’ll still be friends.

So I guess we are Friends With Extreme Benefits. But i’d really like to inow why he thinks he is mentally and emotionally not in a place for romance. Just because he’s married? Am I confusing to him?

But I’ll take him anyway I can, and be available still. Maybe eventually things will smooth out

But as of right now things are still on. We talked today right up until he had to leave for work. Everything felt good right until the very end. He just seemed a tad off.

I hope guilt/other bad doesn’t kick in and make him cancel in the morning!!!

Transfer Post – Family

April 2017

It’s kind of funny. MM is now opening up about his family. And talking about getting caught (not what would happen, but that he’s mentioning it at all is a big step. He’s mentioned it twice this week where, he has mentioned it maybe 3 times the rest of our relationship.)

I have never pushed for info on his kids or wife. This week he sent me a pic of the kids. They are 11 and 13 and the younger one looks just like him. He also told me today about how he doesn’t like the way his wife is raising them. And now I know his kid’s names but not the wife’s.

He will have the kids alone for two weeks this summer (at one of his work locations). I hope he can talk to them a bit then. I am trying to give him advice, but subtly.

It really makes me wonder what is really going on in his head.

Wife and kids are now there for 10 days. They just got in tonight. And we’ve been talking all day though he’s been at work. He’s been really attentive. I feel he does love me.  And he did say it’s going to be a tough week.

He’s Back

April 7, 2019

I love it that the first thing he does is message me when at the airport (away from his wife, heading back out.) Then later he had a layover for a few hours and messages me. We ended up with a lot of puns and innuendos stemming from a conversation about Chik-Fil-A that really went into the sexual fantasy zone. And when he got back to his hotel room he messages me again. We got into some heavy sexting. So much so I broke out my Big Blue vibrator. He fell asleep, but messaged me back when he woke up even though it was after mdnight. We got more sexting in, again with Big Blue. Saturday was a lot of fun after a week of no contact.

TMI – Nipple Pumps/Clamps

Again these come in many many different varities. The very first thing my MM  ever sent me was the Nipple/Clit pump set pictured. (Really TMI – he loves a puffed up clitoris). I was very awkward with them as the only other sex toy I had ever used up til then was a plain old common vibrator my very first half-way real BF got me in college as a joke. The nipple clamps are the latest item in my collection.

They both can cause great sensitivity in the nipples. If you buy clamps, make sure they are adjustable strength like the ones I have. The thumb screws adjust how tight they are. It might be more comfortable, but looser can mean they fall off more easily.

The pumps can be a little tricky if you have big boobs. I have to flatten my breast out a bit to get them to hold. Place the opening end over the nipple and turn the screw end to create a vacuum inside the tube. Your nipple (or clit or labias, or wherever) will get sucked into the tube if done right. The pump can also hang for a while on its own.

You can also use a regular breast pump (for brest feeding) too. I was doing that for a while, hoping to lactate a bit. My breasts grew with the hand-pumping and my nipples were EXTREMELY sensitive. Never got any milk (did the pumping several times a day for about a month before my nipple ring got torn out (not due to pumping) and I had to stop.

If you get uncomfortable you can always remove the pumps/clamps. Don’t wear them too long as they could restrict the blood flow.

Also some guys may like to lead women around by the chains or pumps.

And in all fairness, my MM has used them on his nipples too. 😉 He likes to try – turnabout is fair play as he says.

Feel free to ask questions, as always

Next time, we’ll get a little darker. Electro-stim

Transfer Post – Resolution

Late afternoon March 19, 2017

It’s all okay now. We worked it out.

I couldn’t sleep last night with this weighing on my mind, so I wrote him a letter saying I knew, and that I wasn’t mad but was disappointed. He didn’t write back at first, but when he got into work I messaged him with a light note so he knew I wasn’t mad. And he told me he had so e problems with what I wrote. Basically he did not sleep with her (old friend and she is happily married, but how would i know that) nor did he sleep with anyone in Vegas (which I knew he didn’t). He was upset that I was looking for clues – which I really wasn’t but a lot of little things starting adding up after I woke up in the middle of the night with that sickening thought. That i was taking things a little too far because there is no way he can divorce or anything and we can’t be together on a more permanent basis. He does like talking to me and he loves getting together. He said he wasn’t angry and apologized if i ever felt he was leading me on (which he wasn’t – its all my warped perception). For a while i really thought it was over. Hence the note I posted here. But in the end we decided to just keep things the way they are – friends with extreme benefits… a little more than just regular friends with benefits. And I am okay with this. I guess sometimes i need to have it all put back in black and white.

I admit here i did cry a bit. But I am ok now. We are messaging as normal again.

But still a little disappointed.

Transfer Post – Very Early Morning March19, 2017

Hi Sweetie

I just need to get something off my chest. I know you slept with your friend Monday night. I am not mad, I am not angry. But I am disappointed. And a little hurt. And a little jealous. I also suspect you slept with someone in Vegas over your birthday too.

I know I can’t be everything, but I want to feel good enough. I am heartened that you still seem as interested in me as ever. But i want to be more than just a kink. I crave that too, the kink….believe me. Over the months you have become my best friend. You know how I feel about you. I know you can’t commit or anything of the sort. I am fine with that, really. Maybe all this breast pumping has my hormones going, lol.

But anyways I guess what i am trying to say is, don’t feel you have to hide stuff from me. I’d rather know than find out later. We can’t be “exclusive” since you’re married anyway (as much as I wish you weren’t). I (hopefully) have a lot of decisions to make in the next few months. I do kind of wish i could just be there for you because I think we both get fed up and lonely.

And again – if you ever want out, just tell me. Please don’t string me along. The worst you could do would be to just disappear.

Thanks for letting me rant a bit. I hope it wasn’t too painful. You put up with a lot from me, I know.  And I appreciate it greatly.

Xxxooo
Much Love,

Transfer Post – Ugh

March 18, 2017

It’s been an up-and-down week and I just haven’t had the energy to write. But I support you all in your decisions and everything still although I may not say it. Just some evidence piling up that wake me up at night.

I am 95% sure my MM slept with an “old friend” this week. I haven’t gotten him to admit it, although I have hinted around i suspect. He did say something that his friends list is getting shorter all the time, so maybe it didn’t work out. I do not want to confront him or fight.

I am more disappointed than anything. I tell myself I don,t care, but its obvious to myself that I do. Yet I still find myself drawn to him and sexting with him every day. Damn I’m weak. I am sure I knew it would happen all along.

I am hurt, but not devastated. I just wish I felt I was good enough. Its a blow to me, though.

I know I will go to bed with him again in a heartbeat.

Plus I had some ugh news about the ex and his eyes….

Transfer Post – More Musings on the Wife

March 2017

Since MM and his W are pretty much long distance also, I always believe they are having sex when they do get together. But I know this to not be the fact in reality. He has told me she doesn’t like to have sex much anymore. I don’t know if its because of age/menopause or just because she really doesn’t care. He has also told me she still loves him – but has also told me he feels like he is buying her affection with the gifts he gives her. He buys me gifts, too….but I am certain they are two totally different type of gifts, lol. He also said she is unhappy most of the time.

I try to play Devil’s advocate and see her side of the story as well – left alone most of the time to raise two boys. But I also know she has a ton of help from other family members. She also has the means to travel to see him a lot more than I do, plus she travels for business too.

The only really kind of mean/bad thing I said about her was one time MM and I was joking about how kinky sex is replacing vanilla sex and he asked me if that was a problem. I said, not for me but your wife probably won’t like it. He laughed hard – but I apologized and he said, you don’t need to be sorry, it was funny!

So….I get confused with the wife. If she really is unhappy, i wish she would leave him. I know he won’t leave her – at least at this point – due to the business. If the business is all they really have holding them together, that can be negotiated. I also don’t like the way she treats him sometimes, but all i know is his side of the story.

I just know if i was married to him and separated from him for so long, I would be worshipping him when I did get to see him. Much as I do now.

 

Transfer Post – His Birthday

Late February 2017

(A few weeks ago) is MM’S b-day. He just told me he decided to go to Vegas to celebrate it. No mention of wife and kids – and he has always told me if they are coming. He said the place he is at right now until the end of the month is really bad and noisy and he just wanted a little quiet. So I won’t get to talk to him tomorrow and definitely not see him. He just wants to go play some slots, which he finds as mindless fun. Am I thinking too much about this? No family going. Makes me wonder if something is up

—————

(Later that evening) I was really thinking that he was just going to relax BUT

I just got an out-of-context message from him and i asked what it was about and he said oops, wrong person. I asked who else he was talking with and he said his wife. But i was under the impression he didn’t talk to his wife on the same app. I don’t know for sure though.

I know he talks to other people….but now i am in overthinking mode

Argh

—————-

(Two Days Later)

Update:
Talking to MM right now. All is good. He said he went alone for some quiet because the place he is staying at for his job is really noisy and icky. And he just wanted a little time. Played a few slots. I get no air of guilt or hiding from him. He did message me as soon as he got back.