Morgan Destera

I *may* post some erotic photos also

June 27, 2019

June 12, 2019

Cancelled again. Found out his work schedule changed. I asked if he still wanted to get together, if I was pushing. He  his schedule is crazy and that yes it gets frustrating. He never really answered directly. It sounds promising, but I just want to cry.

He goes on vacation – Aruba – next week. So with his work change i might not get to even talk to him til he gets back, Tuesday the 25.

May 6, 2018

I haven’t been the site in a few days. Wednesday the ex started coughing up large amiunts of blood (he often coughs small amounts) and couldn’t stop coughing for 20 minutes. I took him to the ER and they did labs and chest xray and then a chest CT scan. Basicslly his disease is active again. They transferred him to a larger hospital 45 minutes away. Friday they did a bronchioscope of his lungs. He has a good sized lesion (typical for his disease, when he was diagnosed he had 17 lesions between both lungs) in his right lung, and also reduced lung capacity. He has to have 4 IV chemo treatments spaced one week apart each. (He has had them before, but it has been several years since he has had one). Saturday they found he has a lung infection, so they had to put him on IV antibiotics. He’ll be in the hosp. For a while yet. It never ends here, it seems.

Bad news is this ruins my plans to go see MM in a couple weeks since I now have to take him to his chemo as well as a trip up to see his main doctors in another state. And in June MM will be super busy doing 16-hour days. So now it looks like mid-to-late July is our target. And he leaves in beginning of August for his next contract.

Good news is with ex being gone MM and I have had some super hot sexts and videos. I love that guy so much. He makes me feel good about myself, and if we encounter a snag, we talk through it.

I’ll try to keep you guys updated on ex

April 6, 2018

Now that this thing may be working again, I’ll try one more time…

MM was supposed to be back to work this past Sunday. Didn’t hear anything. Maybe his plane got in late and by the time he checked in it was too late or he was too tired. No problem.

Heard nothing Monday… okay… maybe he worked late, but still…. paranoia setting in.

Tuesday… where is he? Is he ghosting me? Did he decide after all the time at home that it was not worth risking the family? I was really making myself sick. He wouldn’t do that. I always told him if he wanted out, to just let me know. He was fine last time we talked. Well, if I don’t hear from him by late Friday I am going to message him…

Wednesday… quiet. Argh! Don’t do this to me!

Thursday morning – FINALLY!

His return got set back a week. He’ll be more or less back on Monday. We did get to talk for a couple hours so now I feel better and can wait.

He said it was nice being back with family, but he’s more than ready to get back! They haven’t given him time alone hardly. That leaves no time for play (me).

They are settled into the new house. I asked if my room was ready and he said not quite. The kinky stuff isn’t installed yet. 😉 j/k

Last week they were in Jamaica. He got badly sunburned. Good, he deserves it for not talking to me for three weeks. Lol

But everything is good again

Except my car needs repairs – ugh

March 23, 2018

I’m still here. Last week and a few days leading up to it was very very bad for me. Almost to the point where I was considering hospitalization. Overthinking led me to horrible insomnia – and even my anxiety pills could not help. The meds would finally knock me out for a while, but I’d still be up in the middle of the night for a few hours before the drugs would kick in again (one dose, not multiple doses the same night). Even my ex remarked he could tell I was in a bad mood. But it was beyond that.

However, this past Monday I woke up and felt much better. Maybe I got some decent sleep. Somehow I just knew my MM would message me on Tuesday. Tuesday I was very mellow and waiting. He DID message me and we talked for about a half hour before his family returned. Since then, I’ve been okay.

Next week he goes on his family vacation. Luckily its only 5 days. Shortly after that he’ll go back to work and things will be back to normal. I am counting the days. About 10 to go….

Feb. 20, 2018

He’s home, moving into their new house and fixing up the old to sell.

10 days and I finally heard from him. 🙂 He was picking up the kids from school, so I only got 10 minutes, but that’s better than no minutes.

He told me that at the end of March they are going to Jamaica for 5 days. Thing is, he usually doesn’t like to travel during his breaks since he travels so much the rest of the year. But he’s been so busy moving/fixing up that I know he’ll enjoy the sun and lazy days. At least the kids will be with them.

I told him to send me a postcard.

Past few weeks, since our cancel, MM has been busy and hard to get a hold of. Finally over the past few days we have been able to talk. Today he brought up about meeting up again.

A week from Sunday he will be moving out to nearby me again (not as near as he was a few weeks ago, but still very very doable). He will be there for 3 weeks – BUT he is going home for one of those weeks. This kind of pisses me off because he KNOWS that is a week we could have used. But being near me also means he is nearer to home. So I guess he should take advantage of that

And he is the one who brought up getting together… he even mentioned maybe twice during the period he is there.

Ugh…. do I dare get my hopes up?

MORE CENSORSHIP – Smashwords has started pulling taboo erotica titles, despite them saying it is not a policy change, but an effort to tighten up their regulations – doesn’t that mean a change?

From Phaedus Wolfe, CEO of LotsCave.com who publishes and distributes my books:

“First Amazon, then Barnes & Noble, and now Smashwords are controlling the direction the entire publishing market, defining exactly what erotica consumers are allowed to read. If you control the terms, then you can control the outcome of social direction. UltraSmut authors are ignoring this at peril. You will lose every publishing platform going forward, including Lot’s Cave, if authors do not put a stop to this. Some ill-informed authors might agree with various publishing latform claims that this is just “competition”; this is just “free market”; and if one does not like Amazon, if one does not like Smashwords, go make your own publishing platform. These authors have never started their own companies and don’t know what it means to start a business. These companies, including Smashwords now, have all built themselves up to the point of monopoly power on the back of protectionist government regulations.

“Small companies like Lot’s Cave need large companies like Smashwords to plow the path ahead, without which it’s difficult to survive. We desperately want and need Smashwords to provide taboo authors an uncensored publishing platform. If Smashwords caves in to the vocal few complainers and discontinues publishing ultra-smut, it will make life extremely difficult for us by requiring Lot’s Cave to justify its existence.

“Lot’s Cave originally raised its concern when Smashwords implemented a new classification system for content deemed controversial. At the time, Mark Coker stressed the importance of doing so stating:
“Our new approach empowers those who know their content best – the author or publisher – to directly categorize and certify the erotic themes of their books. This will give our sales channels greater confidence to receive the erotica they want while avoiding the titles they don’t want…” “

Amazon started a trend we need to STOP!