Damn Him

August 23, 2019

Damn that man! The last three days we have been in almost constant contact. He’s been throwing little things out like how he wishes I could have a 24/7 live cam so he could watch me all day. (I told him he’d get awfully bored watching me surf the internet at my desk for hours), and that he not only wants my videos, he wants vids of me setting up and cleaning up too. So today I took a vid of me dressing. He’s seen me undressing enough, how often does he get to see me actually getting dressed? And last night we were up til 3 am just talking and laughing. Damn him for being married and unwilling to end it.

Discussion

August 14, 2019

A discussion on another board brought me these thoughts

Every relationship is different. Saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is an absolute which does not apply in every situation. As I have said before, the day I met Rig he was meeting up with a woman that night to get a BJ. But he told me about it. I had no right to complain. I had JUST met him. I don’t think he has had others since we met, but I don’t know. Early in our relationship this would have bugged me. At one point I did accuse him and he said he didn’t. I believe him. And I do believe he would tell me. I can’t stop him. I just hope if this happened, he would take precautions. And would tell me. I don’t think it would bother me as much anymore. BUT not everyone is a serial cheater because they cheat once.

Guilt yes. He is plagued with guilt i think. Sometimes I feel he holds me at arm’s length when it comes to meeting up. But he does have a crazy schedule too. He has expressed his feelings for his wife – loves her due to history (sort of like me and my ex) but not IN LOVE. More for the kids’ sake

Which brings up step-parent. On my side, my son is grown and he knows about Rig. They have never met, though. My kid probably expects it at some point. Rig’s kids are 13 and 15. And with his work situation he doesn’t see them as often as he’d like. Although he did have them by himself for a week for the first time on-the-road. I could adapt since I’ve had boys. I don’t know enough about them to know how they would react.

Don’t know about therapy while going from an affair to a real relationship or marriage. I see a therapist regularly. With his schedule I don’t know if we could. Maybe online? I don’t know if he’d be willing…

Question

August 2, 2019

What do you think.

1. If you cheated on a partner, would you tell them?

2. If you were cheated on, would you want to know?

 

Answer:

I am single, but living with my ex-husband (caregiver). I have a BF who is married. I am not cheating on my ex (though he would think I am). And I’ve known since Day One that my BF is married. Do I want his wife to know? No. Do I want to know if he is with someone else? No.

It took me awhile to get to the point where I can say no, I don’t want to know. But it’s his life. He is under no obligation to me, though he does to his wife. First day I met him, he was later going to get a BJ from another woman. But I had JUST met him, so none of my business.

But he did tell me. And I think he would tell me if he did meet someone else. He does tell me when he sees his wife (he is on the road a lot for business and is not living at home most of the time, though family visits him every few weeks)

So…

July 31, 2029

So, the Catholic Church will not allow me to “Defect”. So I am asking for excommunication instead, on the grounds of sex working, having an affair with a married man, being divorced, and being atheist.

Plus, I am not “mister”, and they used my maiden name. Probably because I was not married in their church. Yeesh.

 

Losing My Religion

July 24, 2019

I formally resigned from the Mormon (LDS) church today. (Ironically on Pioneer Day, although in Ohio this means nothing). I also filed my defection from the Catholic church today.

I do not want to be in their records, especially not the Mormon church. In the Catholic church it is impossible to have your name removed once you are baptized, it seems.

“The claim that underlies all of this, a claim most Christian denominations share, is that baptism, once given, can’t be taken back,” said Patrick Hornbeck, chair of theology at Fordham University, a Catholic school. “When a person is baptized, the person always remains, in some way, shape or form, related to the Catholic Church.”

Formal acts of defection were introduced in the 1983 Code of Canon Law to solve a regulatory issue in some Catholic marriages. Unintentionally, that allowed defection for any reason. Pope Benedict XVI closed the loophole in 2010.

In theory, the act appended one’s baptismal record to show that the person no longer recognized church authority. But diocesan responses were inconsistent. Some honored defections, while others considered requests case by case or not at all, Hornbeck said. (Washington Post, October 22, 2018)

I have researched, and I filed my defection anyway. Beware, there is certain wording that must be used. I did receive an email reply stating they are forwarding the notice to the correct office. By any means, however, I am no longer Catholic, or a Mormon, once the letters are received. It’s just up to them to follow through.

My ex used to be a Membership Clerk for our branch of the LDS Church. He told me he has dealt with such letters as mine and that they are usually taken care of in a timely manner. I will receive a letter from Church Headquarters stating my request has been taken care of.

Here is a good site to review the resignation process of the LDS church – https://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

For instructions on filing a Defection from the Catholic church – https://www.atheistrev.com/2010/05/how-to-leave-catholic-church.html

More on why I waited so long to file later.

Interesting Experience

July 20, 2019

Had an interesting experience yesterday. My guy and I were teasing each other all day via messaging. When he finally had to go to work, I decided to take a nap for a bit so I could be awake when he got home from work later that night. He suggested I put a butt plug in. Giggling, I agreed.

A couple hours later, I woke up needing to use the restroom. I went to take out my plug, but it was not there. I figured it had fallen out while I napped. I made a mental note to check my bed later so I could clean it up.

So I went to the restroom and peed. Then I had the urge to poop. So I pushed…

and the plug popped out of my butt.

It had been totally enveloped by me while I slept. This was not a small plug. (Picture of it above.) And it had the flared end to prevent such a thing from happening.

I really did not think such a thing could happen!

For the brave, video has been uploaded to Pornhub Model for sale 😉 – https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5d33507e58043