The wife is coming of course… Hoping she only stays until Monday and we can still get some time in though
I wrote this to MM. And I feel better for doing so
It’s like 3 am and I am awake due to disappointment with our weekend cancellation yet again and Thoughts about our conversation from the other night, so I thought I’d try to write them out a little. Don’t worry, it’s not bad and I’m not changing what I told you, but maybe explaining myself a little more.
I just want to say that I knew from Day One that there were no expectations. And truly there aren’t any. I really do mean that. Yes I have definite stirrings and feelings for you, but I also know the limitations of our relationship. I did not expect to fall for you – especially as fast and as hard as our connection seemed to be from the very beginning. Seriously all I really want is what we have – it’s all I expect. And I kind of do like my freedom too… I can come and go and do things (well, under Asshat’s reign) and still know there’s a sexy hot man who wants to talk dirty and have lots of fun with me. And that helps my self-esteem too.
I would definitely like to be able to see you more (especially the way we seem to get so very close and then have it crumble) because I do find you so very very sexy and nasty and fun!
And just because I might express my desire to see you does not mean I need a escalation of our relationship. Wanting to spend time with you or see you or talk to you is a real need and not on the same scale of wanting escalation.
I will admit I have thought about it, but it’s all kind of a “what if”. Maybe that’s a woman thing, I don’t know.
I just want you in my life. Life with you in it is infinitely better than life without you in it. You make me laugh, and you make me horny and wet. Total package 😉 And I love the way we can laugh at ourselves and each other and have fun. I love how we can say and talk about ANYTHING and not worry about offending each other. But maybe if we were together all the time we would lose that spark. This separation keeps the yearning desires fresh. I do not want to lose that by any means!
And as I have said before, if you want out, just tell me! The WORST thing you could ever do is just disappear. I would forever wonder what happened, or why.
I think you get lonely and bored on the road and I get lonely and bored with my situation, so together we can help relieve that with each other. You know I am and always will be here for you as long as you want me to be.
I think that pretty well sums up what I wanted to say. Sorry for rambling (and no Fireball was involved, lol)
Thank you for being you! I appreciate the REAL you!
And I also wrote a second much shorter note after I sent this:
“We are MUCH more than Friends with Benefits”