Morgan Destera

November 11, 2019

After losing the ring last week, I ordered my new ones. They came in Saturday and I went up to have them put in Sunday. This was A little awkward as my ex decided to come with me to go to the mall. Of course he does not know that I have any genital piercings, so I acted like we were going to the mall and I left him in the bookstore to allegedly go to a few other stores. In reality I rushed out to the car and drove across town to the piercing shop. Luckily she was not busy and was able to get me right away. I really did not feel any pain or stretching at the time she was putting them in, except for one she had problems getting the bead set. That was the only one I could feel until I got home. After moving around some, I could feel them much more prominently. They are heavier than my old ones – I can feel the difference in weight. They don’t look too much different. But I did get some different colors. Two of them are rainbow hued anodized and the others are pink anodized. I had to mix and match them so the colors are diagonal from each other rather than straight across from one another. Once I got home I took photo for my guy and send it to him. He thought they were very good looking and can’t wait to get his hands on them. Eventually I want to get 8 gauge rings. But I have to work up to those. I have to wear these 12 gauge for several months before I can go to 10 gauge. Then 8. I don’t think I want to go any thicker than that. By the time I was done, the ex was calling to ask where I was. I rushed back and told him to meet me at the door, that I would bring the car around. He didn’t seem suspucious at all.

November 5, 2019

The other day I was sexting with my guy (nothing new there). I took a photo to send him and after I sent it and looked back at it, I realized I had lost my VCH (vertical clit hood) piercing ring!

I don’t know exactly when it fell out. And worse (to me) it was a ring that my guy had given me . (When I had it put in, I told him “If you like it, you better put a ring on it.”) I have a few others left, but they are in my ears. I don’t really see the point of taking one of those out in order to put it there.

He suggested when I get a new one in, to get a barbell, which would hit my clit more and possibly give me more pleasure. We had talked just recently about starting to make my piercings wider too. So I drove up to my piercer (45 minutes away) that afternoon (making an excuse to my ex so I could go). I had her put a bent barbell in. I think it looks nice. However, they did not carry any larger gauge jewelry. She suggested, though, that I order some online. They could put in a special order, but said I could probably get them faster and cheaper if I did it myself. When I got home, I ordered some new rings that my piercer said she would put in for me at a minimal price. I got a couple of different colors, rather than just silver. They should be here within a week. I am not sure when I might be able to get up to her shop by myself, though.

I will eventually get larger thickness rings, but not too huge. I don’t like the looks of those thick heavy rings. And truthfully I don’t understand how people can wear them! It would be hard to hide.

November 2, 2019

Thank you Xocity for allowing me to test your product.

This is the first time I’ve used a double-ended dildo. Being a single straight woman, I didn’t think there was much cause for one. But then I saw the diagram for this one, showing the double penetration scenario, and knew I had to try it. I always wanted to do DP and have done it with two separate toys, but wondered if this product could actually bend that way.

It did. 🙂

This toy is flexible yet sturdy enough to get in my anus with no problem. Some toys I have tried were too floppy to penetrate the hole easily. This one seemed “just right”. The length allowed it to bend easily to get to my vagina also. However it seemed once both ends were in their respective holes, one or the other would fall out. I don’t think this is the toy’s fault – more like I need three hands. And perhaps it would be better if I was in a different position, like laying down rather than standing.

I am looking forward to sharing this with my guy when I see him next time. However, that may not be for several months. I think he may have his own ideas what to do with it. 😉

It is also easy to clean with soap and water. The packaging was easy to access – a pull-apart clamshell rather than one that needs scissors to attack. It would be nice to have it in a more recyclable package though.

October 29, 2019

All my posts from Tumblr have now been moved over here. This has been my journey. I feel more confident now, but ever so much the same as I have been. One year ago I was feeling down in the dumps. This past Friday depression hit me hard, from out of the blue. I have no reason for this. Yes, he was with family again, but that is nothing new. I think part of it is seasonal – it seems to hit right around this time of year, whether it is the lack of daylight, or Christmas, or both, or many other things. I wish I could be with hm, share my days with him. I wish I was out of this living situation. The whole fiasco with the car just shook be down hard. I felt better for a few days but now am down again.

November 16, 2018

I had to cancel my trip out west to see him, all due to the ER visit a few weeks ago. I feel like crap still. I went back to the ER last Saturday due to a new symptom of extreme dizziness. Yet everything looked clean. I went to the surgeon. He scheduled an ultrasound, but it was only the transvaginal kind and did not really look at where the problem actually is. I am extremely frustrated. I am also not going to see my son for Thanksgiving. And I still have 3 weeks before I see my OBGYN. Oh, the surgeon wants me to get a colonoscopy too, fun! Still running low-grade fever, still light-headed, still feel there’s something in lower right pelvic region. Blah! Ex is starting to get upset that I am not doing as much as I used to – remember, he usually thinks I don’t do anything. So now that he is doing some (not all) of the running, he is upset. But it won’t make him appreciate me any more, i know. 

I figure by the time this all gets settled, I’ll end up having to cancel another meet up… 

Oct. 30, 2018

I’m still very down in the dumps. MM wife was in town all weekend so i haven’t talked to him since the 22nd. I dunno. I just have this “doom” sense going on. We won’t be meeting up like planned either – not til February (I hope). Holidays suck.

I was in the ER this weekend for ovarian pain (have a history of cysts and endometriosis) and I can’t get into see my OB-GYN til December! Yeesh! Plus still waiting for results from ex’s last scan over a week ago. And he’s been giving me a lot of hassle moreso than lately. Plus I’m supposed to go down to my son’s place for a week over Thanksgiving and have no idea what to do there for a week. I have no extra money to spend.

September 23, 2018

Another marathon texting session with MM. I Didn’t talk to him all week because of his schedule. We talked 7 hours today. A few things came up that just made me wonder where his head is. One was a pregnancy (fetish) thing. We have both said in the past neither one of us wants kids. At my age it probably wouldn’t happen anyways, but I am still fertile according to my gyno. (I take the shot just to be sure). He made it into this big fantasy. It’s come up a few times before, but not like this. It has been building though. I guess my big thing is – is it just the sexualization of a fetish, or does he really want us together? He made it all like we would be together through the whole thing, what he would do to soothe my pains, have a home birth, etc. etc.  I think its mainly the sexualization, knowing him, but there has to be the desire to see me that way too, right? I told him, it made me almost wish I was fully fertile and don’t make me want it too much. 

This just popped into my mind right now –  Could he possibly be thinking of leaving his family and starting one with me? 

The other thing that got me was at the end. I told him thanks for a really great day and he said he “had to make up for being absent all week.” I told him he didn’t have to but that I loved that he did. He said he “wanted to.” And that it was “a great way to spend a day off”. That just got to me. That he WANTS to talk to me all day. Ugh. I still just can’t wrap my head around him wanting to be with me, even if it is just electronically.

October 12, 2019

I was able to get the car junked locally where it was sitting, after many hours of phone calls and internet searches. No one wanted to deal with it without someone to meet them. I finally found a place that would allow me to mail the title to them when I finally got home. So I want to give a HUGE shout out to R and R Junk Cars in Edinburgh, IN, for their help!

I was able to make a couple of sales which allowed me to buy a bus ticket. Of course, no bus comes directly to my little town, so I had to get to the nearest station, about 45 minutes away from my house.

I get to the bus okay. It was an older bus but I was able to have my own row. Part of the way through the trip, people start complaining about the heat. There was no A/C but it wasn’t horribly hot in there. It was stuffy, but I wasn’t sweating. The driver pulled over to open the hatches, but they were broken and unable to stay open. People started complaining that the “other driver” (previously) had just opened them and left the lid wide open and resting on the roof of the bus. Later there was a near riot over this, after being stuck in traffic. One passenger got up and opened the hatch, angering the driver. I just kept my head down and minded my own business.

The traffic, however, made me miss my connection to the next bus. Me and four others were stuck. Two were able to be re-routed easily, but the counter guy had to call a supervisor in Texas to add two stops on the next bus (6 hours later) to accommodate me and the other two left.

So, six hours in the station. We were given food vouchers at least. I had a few drinks with me and some cereal bars only, so the meal was appreciated. I met the other two ladies stranded and became rather close to one of them. It helped kill the time.

Originally, I had it set up that my brother would pick me up at the bus stop and take me home after he got off work. However, this delay caused a major change. His husband got really angry, and started yelling at me on the phone and basically teemed me a new asshole. I felt like shit enough over this whole situation. It was through no fault of my own that the bus got delayed. But he thinks my brother is too lenient and does too much for me. I have always paid back whatever I have borrowed from him. I didn’t ask him for bus fare – I got that in my own.

But my brother called to apologize – he didn’t need to, it wasn’t him that gave me the problems. He did pick me up without his husband and I did get home, feeling like absolute shit due to being yelled at (not only by my bro-in-law, but by someone else too.)

I do have another car lined up. But it will be a week before I can get it. Yesterday I walked up to the post office to mail the title out. Today I walked up to the small market in my neighborhood.

I still feel like crap, but a little better than I did.

And my MM was with family so I couldn’t really commiserate with him either.

October 8, 2019

I am down visiting my son. I was on my way home when my car died in the middle of nowhere. I don’t have AAA and I don’t have insurance that will cover towing. My son was able to get me a ride back to his place (he doesn’t drive), but I had to leave the car sit at a gas station. The car is 90 miles from my son’s place and 150 miles from home. My ex is at home. It’s the only car we have. We can’t afford to fix it or tow it. I guess the only other alternative is to junk it. But neither one of us can get to the car to sign papers or anything. It’s the transmission. I had a feeling it was going to die soon, but I was hoping to make it home.

I really don’t know what to do at this point.

I am stuck

gf.me/u/vv6a7w

October 2, 2019

So I am down visiting my son while his roommate is on vacation. My MM is literally within 10 miles of me right now. ❤️ We were hoping to get together, just for a quickie. But his schedule is horrid. I have barely heard from him since we got together two weeks ago. And now it seems he has a cold. ugh. I know my sinuses have been playing havoc with me. So it’s looking doubtful we’ll get together. 💔 He’s probably overworked. I know I probably wore him out last time too. (sigh) So very, very close… I don’t want to push…