Oh No

February 22, 2020

My heart is breaking somewhat 💔
I was talking to My MM today and he dropped the bomb that he just signed papers for his new job.

He won’t be on the road anymore starting mid-April
He will be moving to NYC permanently.
His family will be moving with him in the summer, after school ends

I don’t know what this means
We are still getting together in March like planned
I told him I’d miss him and he said we’d still talk

I am trying to be supportive and happy for him
But dammit…

Here’s What Has Been Going On

February 8, 2020

I’ve been kind of quiet lately, partially because nothing has really been going on with my relationship and partially because I have suddenly become very busy, in a good way.

I found out earlier this week that I did not get my Disability. A few weeks ago this would have been devastating to me. But over the last 3 weeks or so, things have kind of changed.

Not with my relationship with My MM. That remains as strong as ever, maybe even more so. Since Christmas he has even been contacting me when he usually hasn’t before, even on days he is traveling. We have talked every single day this past week, even if it was for 10 minutes for him to tell me he was almost late for work because he forgot he had to be in early – which he found funny because he is the one who sets the schedules. He is way out west, 3000 miles from me, but he has been talking to me every night after work almost. Which means I stay up til 3-4 in the morning so we can chat. We are planning to get together in mid-March when I will drive to see him for a couple nights.

He will be in Canada for the next month.

The big change has been – #1 with my dog. Having a pup small enough to take with me has been a mood changer. I can tell the difference in my attitude.

The BIGGEST change however is #2 – back in the fall, I started advertising freelance writing on a website for that purpose. I had one or two small jobs, but suddenly – and I do mean very suddenly – I have been flooded with orders! I have been writing everyday! I have gotten some great reviews too, which has really helped my attitude. It’s not enough to live on, but if it keeps up, after a while I can raise my rates. I can also pick and choose my jobs and write when I wan5 to pretty much. Which gives me time to talk with My MM.

I just hope it keeps up. This is really what I want to do with my life.

So despite the disappointment with my Disability Hearing, I actually have a spark of hope. As long as my ex stays mellow. He did lash out at me the other day because he burnt his hand trying to cook spaghetti 🙄

So, we’ll see what happens

Let the cards fall….

For custom writing – https://www.fiverr.com/destera?up_rollout=true

REVIEW – Pelepas Panty Vibe

January 23, 2020

The one odd thing about this vibrator is that it came packaged with a pair of panties. Women are not all the same size. The panties would not even fit my calf. They were marked as a “medium” but I believe they were made for a more petite Asian market. I would rather have it come with a storage bag rather than panties that are not going to fit probably at least half of their clientele.

The box it was packaged in was pretty yet discreet. That is always a plus due to my living conditions,

I had a hard time getting the remote to synchronize up with the toy upon first time using it. It took several minutes, including me removing the toy to make sure that it was indeed turned on. This also happened the second time I used it, the next day. But you then I knew to wait, holding the button down, for a much longer period of time than indicated. Once it was synched I had no delays when cycling through the different modes.

Battery life was pretty good, lasting longer than most rechargeable small toys I have used. It comes with a two-print magnetic charger that sometimes is hard to keep connected if jostled.

The modes of rhythm were nicely varied. The vibration itself was strong. It fit nicely and didn’t feel like it was going to fall out, though it did slip around as I walked. This could be my error; perhaps it was not snugged in well.

Overall a nice toy I would recommend. It made me want more. A good way to rev up, good forvedging, but it did not send me over the edge. I would rate it 4 out of 5

REVIEW – Umania Lipstick Bullet Vibe

January 6, 2020

This has to be the best toy I’ve reviewed yet!

Small, discreet, very powerful. It came in a pretty pink box with discreet labeling. It also came with a storage bag, which I am always grateful for. It’s palm-sized, about the size of a lipstick. It also was fully charged so I was able to use it right away. The on/off button is a little awkward, as it is very low on the toy and on a curve, but since the item is so tiny, there was really nowhere else toput it. I would have preferred it a little higher up.

I was immediately impressed by how high the initial vibe setting was. A lot of toys “low” settings are boring and I usually skip directly to high. This toy was great even at it’s default. I cycled through all 10 settings and was not disappointed in any of them!

I give this 4.5 out of 5, the control button being the only flaw.

Nugget

January 4, 2020

I wasn’t actively searching for another dog. Too much is up in the air with my Disability, my son possibly moving home, my ex’s health.

However, sometimes the dog finds you.

Meet Nugget.

I was on Facebook on New Year’s Eve when a post from the dog warden caught my eye. The warden was posting looking for a home for a little dog whose owners could not keep him. The dog was not at the shelter but a phone number accompanied the article. Two badly lit and badly staged photos were also there. Details of the dog were hard to see, but he looked cute. On a whim, I contacted them.

That evening, “Chico” came home with me.

He was rescued from a neglect situation by the people I got him from. Unfortunately they were not able to have another pet in their apartment so had to give him up. When I went to check him out, I was leery. I had seen to many nervous and vicious small breeds and his background did not seem to be stable. But I took one look at his face and melted. He was calm and quiet, so I took him home. He still is very laid back and unfrightened. But very underweight. His spine and ribs are definitely defined.

“Chico” did not suit him, though. Throughout the evening, I went through several different names for him, and consulted with several friends looking for his moniker. Briefly he was Yoda, since my last dog was Leia and because his ears sort of look like the Jedi Master’s. Gizmo was mention, due to the ears, but I know a few other dogs named Gizmo.

When my MM got home from work that evening, I gushed to him about my new pup. After a bit, he came up with “Nugget”, which is an inside joke between us. It fits, due to his size and even his coloring.

Nugget rescued me as much as I rescued him. My brain feels free of the metal band that has seemed to wrap around it for the first time in months.

He is “registered” already as my emotional support dog. His training is beginning. His calm demeanor has certainly helped me already.

You can follow Nugget’s progress on Twitter – @NuggetPup1

REVIEW – Treediride G-Spot Vibrator with Tongue Licking Clit Stimulator

December 27, 2019

The first thing I noticed is the box for this product. I would have preferred a more discreet package since I had to take it out of the shipping container while outside due to my living conditions. Luckily I was able to keep it hidden from the public.

This is a nice toy. I was glad to see that the curved neck on this one is very flexible which allowed me to place the tongues right where I needed it to be. Another great selling point of this toy is that it has multiple “tongues” which really stimulated me better than any other toy of this type. One bad thing is it could have used more modes and speeds.

The pulsing vibrator end didn’t do much for me. I could barely feel it. Also more modes and speeds could be a better option.

The worst thing about this was the controls. They were in an awkward spot and did not work well at all. There were times the toy completely shut down because I accidentally pressed the wrong button. It also took too much time an$ effort to get i5 to start up again. I would hold the button(s) down but nothing would happen. This was very frustrating when aroused.

Overall I would give it 3 out of 5 mainly due to the frustrating buttons.

The Problem With Holidays

December 25, 2019

The problem with holidays, especially when you’re “the other woman”, is that all you want is to spend it with your loved one. In my case, I don’t get to see him or hear from him. Some women are lucky and they may get a quick visit or phone call. I was lucky to get a quick message at Thanksgiving but only because he was on location. When he is home for holidays, there is radio silence. I’d love to have an acknowledgement that he is thinking, even fleetingly, of me. He did get me a gift, though, nothing sentimental, but it is something I mentioned.

My family (brothers and sisters) basically fell apart after my Dad died in 2010. After my sister died in 2015, it was even worse. She would at least have Thanksgiving at her place and everyone would wander in from time to time.

My closest brother is the only one who cares now. He has a Christmas party every year – but no one from the family shows up but me. Luckily he has a lot of friends so it is usually crowded, but I know it stings that family does not make an effort. He and I exchange gifts usually close to Christmas. Yesterday he came and took me out to lunch. He got me a bottle of wine and some chocolate. I got him an authentic lobby card poster and some other miscellaneous things.

My ex never got into Christmas anyways. The Christmas after my Dad died (before we divorced) I sat in the hallway and cried due to the lack of love I felt. That was a turning point when I decided to seriously consider divorce. Today he has done nothing. He wished me Merry Christmas, but made no effort. A few weeks ago he gave me a gift certificate from money he got from his sister. No thought was put into it. For dinner today I made roast chicken and cheesy potatoes. I think I tried. I’m not sure he even thanked me.

And now with my dog gone, it just seems even quieter. I know my son feels the same, though he is on his own. He does nothing also. I try to send him stuff and cheer him up.

I often wonder why I even try sometimes. I am lonely. I want some magic in my life again.