November 25, 2019
It’s taken me a while to decide to publish this. It may not seem much of an issue. But when it goes on repeatedly, it gets old and tiresome, and messes with me.
11/7/19 8:55 pm
ex comes in, sits on my bed, grabs tube of icy-hot, asks if i want a back rub, i say no, throws it angrily back on dresser
ex asks again, i say no, throws tube back
ex asks if i want a butt rub, i say no
ex asks if i want a boob rub, i say no, throws tube back
says “there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be doing anything (sexually) – it’s not like we’re going to get remarried”
“you’re going to be out of here soon anyways, right? no reason we shouldn’t do anything”
“you should let me look at your breasts so i don’t die a lonely man”
i say no, it’ll just arouse you more
comes around to look down my shirt, “you have a bra on”
me – well, yeah. i have nice cleavage (trying to lighten the situation)
“i want to see the whole thing”
me – don’t touch me
“you’re a fucking bitch! you want all this stuff but you won’t give. you,re a fucking bitch. fucking bitch!” stalks out of room
he did not touch me though
10:44 pm
very thirsty so i go out to kitchen to get a drink. he is sitting on couch. sees me, takes off his headphones
“i need to ask you something – do you really expect me to take care of you the rest of your life.”
uh, no
“when are you moving out?”
whenever I can
“don’t you think you should think about moving out.”
where would I go? how would i get there? Give me the keys. (I hold out my hand)
“Call (my brother). He’s your brother.”
He doesn’t have room for me. (And i did tell my brother what’s going on)
you know my situation (regarding my hearing and such)
“gah!” he puts his headphones on and ignores me
11:05
he just knocked on my door – stuck his head in – said, okay so we’ll start making decisions when you get your (ssi hearing) decision. You can always move down to (son’s place). This is bullshit. I’m tired…”
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Friday 11/8/19
1:00 pm
Discussing the previous night, he starts saying again that he doesn’t think there’s any reason why we shouldn’t have sex if I am staying. Says I don’t realize how “hard I make things for him” (i guess wearing “revealing” clothes (t-shirts and leggings or shorts) ). I said he should be able to control himself and I don’t want to be put in that situation. He stops the conversation, but agrees nothing can be done at this point about me moving out. but reiterates he wants me to stay
Sunday 11/10/19
9:55 pm
i gave him my phone to look at a picture our son drew and he started going through my photos! and got mad when i tried to take the phone away from him. he moved it out of my reach. luckily i didn’t have any pics from my guy in there
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Monday 11/11/19
8:30 am
I come out of my room dressed and ready to go to Group Therapy. He asks when I’ll be back. Then asks if I am wearing a new shirt – uh, it’s a long-sleeved t-shirt, I have a bunch of these I only wear when it’s cold, so just because you haven’t seen it in a few months doesn’t mean it’s new. He then says it looks nice. I thank him. then he says “You’re getting dressed up for all the guys in your group.” matter-of-factly.
I guess I should have never told him I am the only female in my group other than the therapist. There’s like 3-5 other people in the group depending on who all comes. Four of them are learning disabled. The other one is 70 years old and cranky. Plus it’s Group Therapy… I want someone stable.