December 30, 2018
Sex is powerful. I never felt that power until i was almost 50 years old. I had to open my mind and allow myself to Feel Instead of adhereing to what was expected of me.
My MM overwhelmed me. He was so open and free, at least in his life with his wife and kids at home. When he is alone, he can act how he wants. But even he has those same social standards to abide by when with the family.
I was raised Catholic and later became Mormon to suit my husband. I tried to be a good Mormon girl, even succeeded for a while. But it wasn’t me. Sex was fun then, but there was no adventure.
Now I can think about other things. How would it feel to have a rod in your urethera? (Pretty amazing, for a woman, sounding hits the backside of your clit and can produce some awesome stimulation). Would I enjoy being spread wide and held that way? (Yes!)
I think my first indication was that I enjoyed my gynecological exams. I liked the stainless steel speculum stretching me.
I have been in a lot of doctor offices in my life. I have had cancer twice, lost an eye, and am always under scrutiny. I felt safe in the physician’s care. It probably stems from there. Person in authority, caring persona, instruments to play with… My dad was a pharmacist, so I have been around medical professionals all my life. My ex has a rare autoimmune disease, and as a caregiver I am surrounded with medical communications, equipment, and knowledge.
It seemed inevitable it would invade my sex life.
But I was never brave enough to mention it or explore until I met my MM.
You can’t bring up kink to a Mormon boy (my ex). He doesn’t even “like” porn, although I know he watches it from time to time.
Open your mind, free yourself, or at least accept that what others do in the bedroom between consenting people is not your concern.