Of Course

May 6, 2019

…. and he just cancelled saying he’s really sick. And he’d message me tomorrow after his family leaves

Which makes me question – is he really sick or is he feeling guilt?

I’ll never know for sure. I have to take him at his word.
Next chance will be middle of June

Pornhub

May 5, 2019

I need funds so I have started a @Pornhub account. It is not set for Tips yet (not sure how it goes,  but I think you have to be a Model first, which I am in process). If you want to Tip DM me here or there and I will give deets. pornhub.com/users/markiemoo1138

“Just Sex”

May 5, 2019

Since I was asked about the “just sex” comment, I wanted to post this.

Yes my MM has guilt. I think mainly because of his kids. His exact words were “It’ll be a little weird for me spending the weekend with the family and then having you here a couple hours later, but I think I’ll be ok – As long as your visit is all about dirty fun I’ll be ok. No emotional, romantic stuff – I definitely won’t be in a frame of mind for anything other than kinky sex“. (Copy and pasted from our conversation). Every time we have met up he says the same. I have long ago accepted this. That’s why I pretty much know he will never leave his wife. I told him “As I’ve said before, I’d rather walk out of there knowing we’re still friends and can still have fun”. I’d rather have him in my life like this than not at all. I know I am in his head – and heart.

Coming Up!

May 3, 2019

MM finally got his schedule and it seems we’re going to sneak in a short stay. His family is coming in tomorrow and staying til late afternoon Tuesday. I am coming in Tuesday evening. He says it’s going to be weird having his family in and then have me come in the same day, so no romance. Just sex basically. Again I told him I’d rather walk out of there knowing we are still friends and can still have fun than to simper and whine. It’ll be a short stay. I’ll be leaving there Wednesday afternoon when he goes to work. But at least I’ll get to see him!

Transfer Post- Peace

September 2, 2017

As this longest time of reduced contact draws to a close, I am realizing this is the first time I haven’t really been overthinking or analyzing every little thing. I guess that means I’ve grown. I do find myself trying to be around for his normal times of messaging, or when I know he may be waiting for the kids to get out of school. But this is this first time I haven’t delved into misery thinking he won’t get back to me, or he’ll ghost me. I am confident he’ll be back. And perhaps I’d even be okay overall if he left (as long as he would let me know he was caught or whatever the circumstances may be). I have the feeling even if he was caught, he might come back someday down the road. I am grateful for this state of mind. I am almost at peace. Now if I could just get away from my ex.

Transfer Post – Quick Contact

August 18, 2017

Yay! MM contacted me today! Still two weeks to go before he’s back. He did get the new contract – he basically had the job, but they needed to find someone to replace him on his current job. He found someone himself, lol. So in mid-Sept. he’ll be on a new road. More money and less responsibility. But that blows the plan for October. If we are lucky, we might be able to do November, though.

He’s working at his shop and his kids are still off school so he’s spending time with them, too. No news about the W.

Transfer Post – Here We Go

August 13, 2017

Now starts the long 3-week layoff for the MM. He will be home tomorrow. (Sigh) I was very lucky to have gotten some messages this week, despite him being busy and moving about quite a bit. When he’s at home I don’t know if he’ll have a chance, but I hope he will. He will be working with his business partner at their shop (decisions need to be made there) as well as working around the house to get ready to sell it in the Spring. PLUS he was offered a new job contract where he will actually be making more money with less responsibility, BUT he cannot accept it if he cannot find someone to take over his current contract. And time is running out.

I feel bad he is going through so much when I can’t be there (even by message most of the time) to support him.

Transfer Post – Steeling Myself

July 30, 2017

I am trying to prepare myself for a long period of low-to-no contact.

The last ten days have been disruptive. My MM has been busy, preparing for the next several weeks. I have only talked to him a few minutes. Starting tonight, he is in for a back-breaking two weeks of work (three locations in 2 weeks (two within three days) which, in his job, means a lot of labor and traveling). Then immediately after that, he is laid off for three weeks. Which means he will be at home, with wife and kids. I asked if they are planning on going anywhere (vacation) but he said he has a lot of work to do around the house to get ready to sell it in the spring.

So… for the next 5 weeks, I will be lucky if I hear from him.

I have to keep my mind straight. I can not and do not want to overthink myself to the point I feel crazy (as has happened before)

I have to remember we are planning on meeting up in October. I have to remember the things he has said to me. I have to remember he will not forget me.

I am trying to get through this. I WILL get through this!

I may need some hugs….