MORE CENSORSHIP

MORE CENSORSHIP – Smashwords has started pulling taboo erotica titles, despite them saying it is not a policy change, but an effort to tighten up their regulations – doesn’t that mean a change?

From Phaedus Wolfe, CEO of LotsCave.com who publishes and distributes my books:

“First Amazon, then Barnes & Noble, and now Smashwords are controlling the direction the entire publishing market, defining exactly what erotica consumers are allowed to read. If you control the terms, then you can control the outcome of social direction. UltraSmut authors are ignoring this at peril. You will lose every publishing platform going forward, including Lot’s Cave, if authors do not put a stop to this. Some ill-informed authors might agree with various publishing latform claims that this is just “competition”; this is just “free market”; and if one does not like Amazon, if one does not like Smashwords, go make your own publishing platform. These authors have never started their own companies and don’t know what it means to start a business. These companies, including Smashwords now, have all built themselves up to the point of monopoly power on the back of protectionist government regulations.

“Small companies like Lot’s Cave need large companies like Smashwords to plow the path ahead, without which it’s difficult to survive. We desperately want and need Smashwords to provide taboo authors an uncensored publishing platform. If Smashwords caves in to the vocal few complainers and discontinues publishing ultra-smut, it will make life extremely difficult for us by requiring Lot’s Cave to justify its existence.

“Lot’s Cave originally raised its concern when Smashwords implemented a new classification system for content deemed controversial. At the time, Mark Coker stressed the importance of doing so stating:
“Our new approach empowers those who know their content best – the author or publisher – to directly categorize and certify the erotic themes of their books. This will give our sales channels greater confidence to receive the erotica they want while avoiding the titles they don’t want…” “

Amazon started a trend we need to STOP!

The Lows

May 26, 2019

I’ve barely talked to him since our missed date.

He’s busy. He told me he would be. New people are starting at work and they are all in training mode. Yet I miss him. My ego is still bruised over the cancellation. We’ve had one really good talk session since then and just a couple of short chats.

It’s a holiday weekend and I’m down too. Nothing is going on. It’s not even good to be online because it seems everyone else is out doing things. And I am stuck. I’m tired of this. Even if I did have plans I wouldn’t be able to do anything. No money, no energy, and being controlled by an ex who holds the keys to his car, is too ill to do anything Or let me go far, in case. When I do have plans they usually get broken. I can’t even make a special meal because there is no money for food and I don’t have a grill. The guy I want is miles away and caught up in his job. So I sit around bored and depressed, wanting so much but never having. I can’t do this much longer.

 

 

Transfer Post – Holidays

December 16, 2017

Had a great time with my brother yesterday at Winterfest! It was so beautiful! The best part was though, my MM messaged me and asked me how it was. Unfortunately we only got to talk for a minute because I was on my way home from my brother’s, but I was stopped at a gas station and was able to talk for a bit. I was hoping he’d be up still when I got home, but he had an early flight to go back home this morning. 😦  But I did leave him a message. And it makes me think he wanted to at least say hi/bye before he left. at least he’ll be back between Christmas and New Year’s rather than sometime in January.

As compared to my ex who messaged me a couple minutes before sayng “are you coming home tonght” and nothing about how it was or if I enjoyed myself. And then asked if I “had really gone to Winterfest” when I got home. So I had to show him pictures.

No I am not worried about him suspecting anything. He has been like that ever since I have known him – accusing me of having boyfriends, going to see other people, etc. even when we were married. Idiot. And part of why he is my ex.

Transfer Post – He’s Back Briefly

November 28, 2017

MM is back briefly. He must have really missed me the last couple of weeks. We spent the most part of 12 hours talking and sexting.

But I also kind of got the feeling he may be at a crossroads or something. There were several times he just seemed frustrated and we spent a large chunk of conversation talking about whether his kinks make him a bad person. He also said his W might be getting the idea he is kinky… but probably does not realize to what extent he is. He told me she asked him if he would enjoy watching her have sex with someone else. This leads me to wonder if she suspects he’s having an affair or maybe SHE’S having one too. Or maybe she’s afraid she’s going to lose him. I asked him that, and he said he didn’t know: he didn’t want to question her too much (and perhaps throw suspicion his way). I just got the impression he is not happy at home but doesn’t know what to do about it. Especially since they are building a new house, etc. i just reassured him and several times during the whole night let him know I appreciate him. He, in turn, made sure I had a couple or orgasms from sexting/videos. He always has been a gracious lover. I even dared to bring up “if this was our honeymoon, we’d be doing this…” type stuff.

(Sigh) Starting Sunday he is home again for an entire week. Then he has to go back to work for 2 weeks before he gets 2 weeks off for the holidays.

Transfer Post – Holiday Hush-Hush

November 19, 2017

And so the holiday no-contact days begin.

MMis going home tonight, will be back Tuesday night for work, his family is coming in Wednesday for Thanksgiving and staying until Friday. Wednesday through all of next week, his job hours almost double as they try to reach as many people as they can in a short period. He will have next Monday off as well, but I believe he is going home then also. I don’t expect to hear from him all week (sigh). He is there (somewhat nearby, but also closer to home) until Dec. 2. He will be closing things down for probably another week after that, and then home for the holidays. All the no contact, though I’m sure he’ll say “Hi”when he can.

For Thanksgiving I am once again third-wheeling with my brother and his husband as they visit a friend. We will probably hit the casino, as we did last year.

I am getting tired of being a third-wheel, but I am not ready to lose him either. Just another case where I have to wait.

Transfer Post – A Small Problem

November 4, 2017

I was talking to my son (age 22 and not living at home) today and somehow my MM was brought into the subject. My son has known about Him since close to the beginning, but they have never met. They have chatted a few times on Skype though.

But something I said must have triggered my kid. All of a sudden he was ranting “I don’t like him! I think he’s a creep, and I wish you’d stop seeng him! I really tried to like him for your sake, but I just can’t!”

I was somewhat taken aback. I wrote to my MM and told him what happened and he said it’s okay, to let him take the blame. He didn’t care what the kid thought about him, as long as the kid and I were ok (meaning still talking, etc)

I have the feeling they got off on the wrong foot during one of their chats. I feel weird being in the middle of it. I told the kid that no matter what, I was still his mom, but that I trust my MM completely. I don’t think it’s jealousy on my son’s part (Him taking the place of Dad, since Dad and the kid have their own problems).

I was just hoping they would get along.

It was very sweet of my MM to take the blame.

TMI – Electro-Stim

 

This is basically the unit I have.

E-stim has MANY MANY variations. From a simple unit like this, to straps you can put around his cock and balls, to violet wands, to systems hooked up to car batteries!

I will talk about my unit since that is what I am most familiar with. Also I have played with a violet wand a little so I will get into that near the end.

My unit is very basic. Not only is it used for sexual play, it is basically the same thing hospitals use for pain control. TENS Units are basically the same and I know people who have bought these for that purpose exclusively. A few have discovered the “perk” of other uses for it.

I have used this mainly on my breasts. I was trying to lactate and this was supposed to take the place of pumping, not all the time, though. Before that, though, i was experimenting with it.

You can adjust the strength of the shock as well as how the shock is delivered – single continuous shock, pulsing, pulsing from one set of pads to the other, tingling, etc. you MUST have all the pads attached to your skin for it to work. Mine came with a bottle of special electronic applicator which helps the pads stay on and conduct better. You can put it on your skin or on the pads. Some units come with 8 pads or more.

On my breasts, I put two pads on each side of the nipple. This was one I liked the most. You can also put two on one breast and two on the other. It definitely peaks the nipples and makes your boobs swell.

Some people use it near their vagina as well. I was pretty natural hair down there, so i was unable to do so. I did put them on my upper thighs, as close as I could get, and had some nice stimulation, though no orgasm. You can also put them on his cock, much like I did on his arm. He said he would do it sometime. He was amazed by the spasms on his arm, and couldn,t imagine his cock doing that.

There are limitless possibilities with these, but be careful…. only ramp up as much as you can handle. EStim COULD potentially hurt your heart – and DO NOT USE if you have medical implants!

https://www.amazon.com/High-Frequency-Darsonval-Device-Listed/dp/B001VII87W/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1503357264&sr=1-4&keywords=Violet+wand

Violet wands are one of those medical devices too that made the jump to sex play. I am not going to get into whether it works as a medical device.

Basically violet wands are used in stimulation play, just like all the e-stim. It basically deals with static electricity. Imagine feeling static electricity playing on your nipples?

I used one once (while clothed) at a convention. It really did make the hair on my arms stand up. I brought it near my breasts and could feel the tingling through my shirt and bra.

It is one item I would like to add to my collection. They are fragile though.

DO NOT USE AROUND YOUR EYES – you are basically using ultra-violet light

Severely Disappointed

May 9, 2019

I am so severely disappointed… it was so close! I was even packing. He did message me Tuesday from work, as he said he would. It was very brief, saying how lousy he felt. I did not get mad or anything. I told him to rest up and feel better. He works long days the next 4 days and then moves again Sunday, so I doubt I’ll hear much – if anything – from him until next week. I sent him a “motivational” pic last night – but he hasn’t “seen” it yet (again, busy schedule). Our relationship is what it is. I just wish I knew what “it” is, lol.

BUT If we don’t get together next time, I think I have to re-think this whole situation and maybe confront him if he still wants physical or just online relationship. If any at all.

Truthfully mid-June should be a better situation. We should be able to have a couple of nights together….should, that is.

I just can’t seem to shake this lousy mood.

Of Course

May 6, 2019

…. and he just cancelled saying he’s really sick. And he’d message me tomorrow after his family leaves

Which makes me question – is he really sick or is he feeling guilt?

I’ll never know for sure. I have to take him at his word.
Next chance will be middle of June