Six Years

September 19, 2021

This past week marked the six year anniversary MM and I have been involved.

I am really yearning to be with him, moreso this year than any other. Perhaps it is because I am feeling a sense of freedom for the first time. I feel I have the freedom to actually be with him wholly. I’ve always been pulled in other directions before.

My therapist told me I need to make a total break from my ex for at least 60 days, for both my physical health as well as my mental. The move kicked my ass and I spent almost three weeks recovering. Total is impossible as long as I am nearby, but I have pulled back even further. I am no longer driving him, nor making appointments for him. I have only visited a couple of times to bring him things he needs from the “outside”.

But this pulling back has left me a little lonely too. Maybe that’s why I am yearning for my MM. I can’t see it happening for at least two years – until his kids graduate – but you never know.

When we first met, he told me “no expectations”. But he has expressed his unhappiness a couple of times over the past few months, and has said he needs to “get his ducks in a row”. I hope he gets to lead his authentic life, as I am trying to do, and I certainly hope I am part of it.

Move

September 1, 2021

I am done moving! I went by the house today to pick up mail that might’ve been left behind and they actually removed the mailbox from my house! I’ve never seen that happen before. So it must really be official now.


My MM is very happy for me and very excited about my new life. He swears he’s going to make a trip to see me someday. I’m not going to hold my breath LOL.

The old house is not complete by any means. The garage is still at least 1/3 full of garbage, literal garbage. But I cannot do anymore. I am totally exhausted and hit my limit about two weeks ago. I managed to finish up what I could. I got all my stuff out of the house at least. I explained to my landlord who knows all about my leukemia and everything and they said don’t worry about it. I filled up a 30 yard dumpster and had at least 50 other garbage bags out on the curb.

I also really messed up my foot in the process. I had to go in and get steroid injections today between my toes because I have a neuroma. What else can go happen LOL. I hope the injections take care of it (I may need one more shot) and I don’t need surgery.

Now I am just trying to stay off my foot and enjoy my new place

TOY TEST – Umania 10” Black Horse Anal Dildo

August 26, 2021

This is a HUGE toy! And not for the faint of heart.

It is oddly convoluted, full of veins and protrusions. It is reminiscent of a horse but more highly detailed.

The problems I had with it are that the skin feels sticky and it is not “stiff” enough. It bends easily, and with an item this size, more firmness is needed for easier insertion. The stickiness is also a drawback, as it requires extra lubrication. But the realistic veining gives plenty of pleasure once it’s in. The width gives a good stretch and makes you feel like you’re splitting. There is plenty of length to go around.

I give it 4 out of 5.

The item can be purchased here – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B095YTRDGS?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2_tab_ap_product_details

Video of this will be on my Pornhub at a later date due to technical difficulties.

Proesthetic (Glass) Eye Re-Make

August 4, 2021

I thought you might be interested in the process of making an artificial eye. It would be different with a brand new patient, as they would have to make an impression of the socket first. With me, they are able to use my current prosthetic as a template.

Eye making process
TRIGGER WARNING… prosthetics
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First pic is my old eye covered and built up with wax to fill in the fit. The mold will be made from this after my ocularist is satisfied with the fit. Second is the back of the prosthetic. It is not round, so it does not roll around in the socket. Third and fourth is me wearing it. There is a peg on front to aid the mold making process. Fifth is the start of painting the iris. Once finished, a black disc will be applied to it for the pupil. Red threads act as veins.

My old prosthetic will be cleaned up once the mold is made so I can wear it until new one is made.

I will come back for a fitting for the new prosthetic in a few weeks.

Trip and News

August 2, 2021


I am back from my trip. Unfortunately three days turned into two. He got a bad stomach bug. However he did manage to ravage me quite thoroughly, starting in the parking lot. He was waiting there for me when I pulled in.

However, he wasn’t up to doing the really nasty stuff. So I cut the trip a day short and he needed rest. But we still got to hang out and have a little fun. I will be seeing him again in December.

In other news he starts work today so yay he’s back to his job!


ALSO- I GOT MY APARTMENT! I sign the lease on Thursday!

Also, ex is back in the hospital but should be released today.

Wednesday I have to go get a new eye prosthetic made. (It’s at least two appointment process). Then over the weekend I have some friends coming to help me clean and move. I got a shit-load of packing yesterday and I still have a lot more to go but I got a good dent started. My son is also coming up next week to clean the cesspool of a garage. I’m selling a bunch of stuff that I don’t need including appliances because my new place comes furnished with appliances.

I kind of feel weird though because when I got home I found a wad of cash in my backpack that apparently my MM had snuck in to help me with my move. I don’t know how to feel about it. I know he’s just trying to help me out and didn’t want to embarrass me I think. But I also am a little on edge because I haven’t really heard from him now since I’ve been home. But I know he’s busy… I know he’s busy… I know he’s busy… and I’m busy too

My brain is just all over the place right now. It’s been a whirlwind. The next couple of weeks are going to be super busy!