Danger Danger

November 4, 2021

My MM and I are delving into dangerous territory.

I found myself masturbating with a knife. (Short video on my OnlyFans – https://onlyfans.com/u144793777 )

We have been evolving – or perhaps devolving – into very dark area.

Although we both dislike the control issues and mind games associated with BDSM, there are a lot of aspects we do enjoy. And now we are talking more about that thin line between pleasure and pain.

That line keeps getting blurrier.

TOY TEST – Sohimi Rose Queen Clitoral Sucking & G Spot Vibrator

October 13, 2021

This is another well-packaged product from Sohimi. While I already had the rose sucker aline, engineering it with a good g-spot vibrator makes this toy even more desirable.

One thing I have discovered about clit suckers is that they are not good for short-term use. In fact, whenever I start to use one I always wonder what the fuss is. They never seem to have much suction, including this one. The key to getting the most out of a sucker toy is prolonged use. After I finished with the vibrator, I went back to the sucker and just left it on for quite a few minutes. THAT’S when the power of the toy came into play. I don’t think it was because my clit was already sensitive from play, I think it was because I did not give the toy enough time in its initial use to sensitize my clit to it. The longer I kept it on, the better it felt.

The dual purpose of this toy was such an innovative idea. It came in such a pretty box with a rose embossed on it. It was already endearing just because of that. The g-spot vibrator had just enough curve to it to bump against the top of my vagina in search of that elusive spot (in other news, it found it). Several modes are included on this vibe, which always gives way to inventive uses. With this product having two toys in one, it is easy to switch from one to the other by just swapping ends. That leads to almost limitless playtime.

Over all I give this a 4.5, but a 5 for ingenuity.

You can purchase the toy here – https://www.sohimi.com/products/rose-clitoral-sucking-g-spot-vibrator – Be sure to use promo code DESTERA to save 10%, or go to https://www.sohimi.com/?ref=jtbjxm5uuwu1 and search Rose Queen Clitoral Sucker and save 20% without a code needed!

Video of the test will be on my Pornhub today, October 13 – https://www.pornhub.com/model/morgan-destera/videos

TOY TEST – Lanen G-Spot Mini Vibrator

October 6, 2021

So often when I get toys I forget that certain features come with them because that feature does not work well. This is often the case with “warming” modes on sex toys. I have had many that come with the button, but when pressed seem to do nothing. This product, however, has a heat you can feel! It is the first toy that actually felt warm and snuggly and I wanted to keep it inside.

The size, too, was easy to handle. It wasn’t so huge that my fingers stretched to reach the controls. They fit nicely on the buttons and made flipping through the modes easy. The curve was just right for me to reach in and seek that elusive G-spot. This toy isn’t too big, nor is it too small. Easy enough to hide away even in your purse. And it is even better that you don’t need batteries!

Overall I give this 4.5

It can be ordered here – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B099PFPDDZ

Video of this will be on my Pornhub today. https://www.pornhub.com/model/morgan-destera

Unconditional Love in Marriage

October 1, 2021

Does unconditional love truly exist in a marriage?

A friend of mine, who is also in an affair, sent me the following by Kristina Flour on “Unsplash” (https://unsplash.com/@tinaflour)

“Basically it was this. There were fundamental parts of himself, really important parts of him, that he felt his wife had rejected or that he simply didn’t connect with her on. As a result he couldn’t share them with her and he neglected them. This neglect was leading to a subtle internal fracturing for him. It was manageable until he hit that connection point with someone else; then that fracture became excruciating enough to risk it all. We’re not talking about mere attraction here, we’re talking about real connection. Connection that makes you feel seen and known. Connection that makes you inspired and excited about who you are. Couple that alignment with charm, intelligence, physical attraction and availability and you’ve got yourself the invitation.

“…The irony here is that when we marry, we ideally marry with a sense of being fully seen, known and accepted by another person. That’s what makes it special. Our partners are to be the keepers of us in our totality. They commit to loving us in that totality even if who we are changes, and it DOES change. To truly live in this space is to know ultimate freedom and frankly that is what most people seem to be seeking in an external relationship. Freedom to be the person they can’t be in their marriage and be loved without the conditions of conventional marriage; primarily that you won’t emotionally or physically connect in any meaningful way with another person. Infidelity has most often been seen as a failing of the people engaged in the action. Can we stop to consider it might be a failing of the construct of conventional marriage itself?

“More often than not in conventional marriage what we end up creating is a false sense of safety by hiding those parts of ourselves that may hurt our partner or cause rejection. We forgo critical change. We put our souls in stasis. We become a version of ourselves that “works” for the other person. We succumb to a shared fear of rejection by the person who’s promised to not reject us under any circumstances. We cheat ourselves and our partners out of the opportunity to really know the power of unconditional love. I submit that if you can’t trust a person with the totality of who you are, with the pain that comes from change, with space asked for and freely given, or the choice to love you no matter what; it seems that monogamy is beside the point.

“Our culture is not challenging us to embrace authentic unconditionality within marriage. We indeed start our marriages with some very strong conditions that almost guarantee fear will rule our relationships instead of love. We are told that all this suppression eventually works; that we eventually overcome our childish restlessness. We will settle into our sacrifice, appreciate the safety we’ve created for ourself and our partner, and we will feel great accomplishment for enduring it all. We never acknowledge the great cost of emotional detachment, shame and grieving that are often required to sacrifice one’s self to conditional love.

“Unfortunately we have so few love stories where two people stepped into their fear, laid themselves bare, held to their truth, chose to support and love the entirety of the other and continued to love each other for eternity; married or not, monogamous or not. This is the love I aspire to. The one where no hiding or sacrificing is required. A love that resides in the light and grows as wild flowers do; in firm soil, unmanicured, unfettered, unconditional. . . forever.”

This hit me hard. I can see so many parallels in this to my own relationship. I know Things about my MM I am certain his wife has no clue about. I love him unconditionally. I want him to be his authentic self, which I am struggling do myself in order to be happy. I know he cannot live that married to her. A few weeks ago he mentioned wanting to do his art full time, and mentioned casually we should get a place where I can write and he can do his art “in a nurturing setting”, which tells me his wife does not see his art as anything viable. This saddens me. I know he really enjoys his art and is quite good. He probably could live off it, if he could get it out there. It’s sad she doesn’t encourage him. I get it, his art, as a fellow creative.

In return, he knows things about me I could have never told my ex, even when we were married. I would have been considered “dirty” or a “whore.” That mindset is why I could not share. His judgment, and the judgment of others, is what held me back from my happiness. It is still something I struggle with. It’s just another form of control, of not letting the other person grow and change. It’s stagnation.

Only when we decide we need to care for our own selves and be happy in our own lives, can we break free. It may hurt others along the way, but if those others cannot accept and celebrate your own authentic self, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

TOY TEST – Sohimi Vibrating Ring

September 25, 2021

This was a toy I was really looking forward to testing out, but unfortunately our time together was cut short.

My guy did try it later and reported that this was one item he really enjoyed.

The way it was designed to run down the length of his cock made the vibration a much richer experience. He had tried other cock ring vibrators before and had been disappointed by them due to the fact that the vibration was isolated to only the area the ring covered. This item spanned almost his entire length and kept him hard for a long time.

However, he did not find that it got him hard, as it was not flexible enough to use on a limp, floppy dick. Even just holding the item to his cock was not enough to entice an erection. This may not be true for everyone, he noted. Others may be able to get hard with it.

I was hoping to be with him because the item seems slim enough to enter into a woman’s vagina as she is being fucked. I was hoping to experience what he felt. He seemed to agree that this should be usable while having intercourse. Maybe next time we get together we can try it.

He gives this a solid 4 out of 5. It would have been a 5 if he had been able to get hard with it. However, someone else may be able to.

Visit https://www.sohimi.com/products/sohimi-vibrating-cock-ring-for-couple-Fun to order. You can use promo code DESTERA at checkout to save 10%. Or better yet, visit my website, http://www.morgandestera.com and click the link for Sohimi.com to save 20%, then search for the item “vibrating ring for couple”, no code needed.