Exxxotica Wrap Up, Part Two

November 9, 2022

One thing I liked about Exxxotica was the number of seminars they had scheduled. One thing I did not like about Exxxotica was the unannounced changes to the seminar schedules.

There were two large rooms set aside for these classes. Only about 1/3 of the space of these rooms were used for seating. These talks were not well attended unfortunately. I would have liked to see more big-name professionals giving the talks rather than just anyone. It seemed anyone could sign up ahead of time to talk. And the ones I happened to see were not well prepared.

There were a few that were intriguing. One gentleman, a Master called Daddy Heff, gave an intriguing demonstration on “Heart Space Activation for BDSM Play.” With the help of his assistant, he was able to show how a don can still connect with his/her sub in order to achieve a deep intimacy. To prove this was not a fluke, he then chose a volunteer from the audience and was able to reduce her to emotional tears by touch and tone.

Other speakers were not as well prepared. One class I waited for was canceled totally (without notice – the speaker did not show at all) and another just turned into a Q and A with little substance. I have been to many panels at other cons, and have presented at a couple comic book cons myself, so I know how hard scheduling can be; but I feel if you sign up to do a panel, you should have something prepared. Also I think you should have to be vetted in order to present. A couple of presenters seemed to be there solely for their own ego and had nothing significant to add.

On Sunday I came to the expo more in “fun mode” – to shop and try out some things. I dressed more casually in a lace top and leggings and in return was paid more attention. One of the 420 friendly dealers was very caught up in me and we spoke at length about our businesses until he was called away. It made me feel proud to be recognized as a part of the industry.

There was a little activity over in the BDSM area so I wandered through there a bit. I watched how one could be freed from the shackles of a broken body as a wheelchair-bound woman was rigged and lifted from her chair during a shibari demonstration. She was able to float and be free with the help of bondage. This struck me as a very strong affirmation – the word “bondage” often conveys a negative connotation of being bound and controlled; but here the woman was unrestrained and liberated. It was very fascinating, and made me rethink my views on BDSM. (I am intrigued by the toys and limit testing, but I do not need the mind games of a Master/sub exchange, especially not 24/7. (My opinion only, I know many will cringe when I say “mind games”.)

I felt a little emboldened by that display so I asked one of the sellers in the area about flogging. He explained the different floggers he had on display – some were soft, some were more “thuddy”, and some were harsh – and then asked if I would like a demonstration. I agreed as long as it was easy as I was slightly nervous. He again asked for my consent before applying the flogger for a few moments. He made sure to only hit my backside. The flogging in my back itself did nothing for me, but I quite liked it on my ass and wished it could have gone on longer. (Thank you Poppa Scott at Flogger Knows Best – https://www.floggerknowsbest.com).

I wandered around the floor, taking in the sites and chatting with various vendors. They seemed much more open to me in my Fun Mode than when I was in Work Mode. One vendor, MotorBunny (www.motorbunny.com) offered a live demo ride on one of their sex machines. It was quite innovative and worked as a video game. The game itself was like Flappy Bird – you go up, the machine vibes one way, you go down, it lowered gear, and if you crashed you definitely felt it. It was distracting to try to concentrate on the game while having all that horsepower between your legs. I would love to add one to my collection! You could also set it to sync with music and other options. Several other models were also available. And they gave out lighted bunny ears as an incentive.

The rest of the time I just walked around and observed. I spoke to one lady, Addis, between panels and got to know this wonderful person. She, like me, is in a ping-distance relationship so we commiserated about that for a bit. I met others on the floor, tried some wonderful infused popcorn by Mia’s Heart, Hemp Life (http://miasheart.com – I need to order some more! It was so good!) There was also an axe throwing area, but I didn’t try it.

All in all, it was a good trip. I did not get to see my guy due to extenuating circumstances, but I knew that it was a long shot anyway. He did chat with me on my drive home so I still felt it was a productive trip. Whether my inquiries and cards I handed out will result in an uptick of readers or listeners is something I am looking forward to discovering. Is it something I need to go to again? No, not really, unless I was an invited guest. I would like to compare this to a more fetish themed show (I found out there is a small fetish con somewhat near me so maybe someday I’ll be able to attend it for comparison.) Maybe if I come back, I will do my own panel and you can bet I’ll be prepared!