Mood

May 2, 2021

My mood tanked about 2 weeks ago.

I was decent this past week, but Friday my mood started to darken again.

I have been very irritable and I feel on the verge of tears much of the time. I think I am frustrated about everything – I still feel stuck with my ex, my health hasn’t been the best since Christmas, money is always a problem, I haven’t written anything of substance in a while, I miss my guy…

I think most of all I am tired of taking pills and eye drops. Pills an hour before meals, in the morning, at night; two different eye drops three times a day. All together I take about 35 individual pills a day.

I went yesterday and got my nipples pierced, hoping to assuage the mental health gods. Usually a piercing or tattoo or new hair color gives me an adrenaline boost. Not this time.

I need to do something, but I don’t know what. I wish I could go see my guy; maybe some good sex would help.

I think I’m lonely too.