The Lows

May 26, 2019

I’ve barely talked to him since our missed date.

He’s busy. He told me he would be. New people are starting at work and they are all in training mode. Yet I miss him. My ego is still bruised over the cancellation. We’ve had one really good talk session since then and just a couple of short chats.

It’s a holiday weekend and I’m down too. Nothing is going on. It’s not even good to be online because it seems everyone else is out doing things. And I am stuck. I’m tired of this. Even if I did have plans I wouldn’t be able to do anything. No money, no energy, and being controlled by an ex who holds the keys to his car, is too ill to do anything Or let me go far, in case. When I do have plans they usually get broken. I can’t even make a special meal because there is no money for food and I don’t have a grill. The guy I want is miles away and caught up in his job. So I sit around bored and depressed, wanting so much but never having. I can’t do this much longer.