Sunday March 20, 2016
I kind of feel like an idiot, but really there was no way for me to know.
I was feeling a little playful yesterday so I decided to flirt some with my guy. I sent him a bunch of stupid pick-up lines and then a racy photo over a period of a few hours. He didn’t respond to them, but I didn’t think anything of it because a lot of times he is too busy. I just wanted to bother him a bit.
After I send the photo I get a response. He is apologetic that he didn’t answer, but he had been dealing with a crisis at home.
I felt so embarrassed. I don’t want to bother his time talking to family – and I certainly don’t want to make light of a crisis situation. His family was supposed to visit this week but now at least the older kid cannot due to his problems at school. (I do not know if the younger boy and the wife are still coming – I am guessing they are and the older boy will stay with grandparents.) I immediately felt contrite and consoled him a bit and let him go (I know he is a “strong silent type” and wouldn’t want to discuss too much.)
This morning somehow I got it in my mind that if his family doesn’t come, he will ask me to visit. I started getting really excited. I texted him early, since I knew he had to work a little earlier than normal, and again apologized for spamming him. He said I was not spamming but it was poor timing. I agreed. We talked a bit more about the situation with his kid and hen he said that he and hi wife would figure it out after I tried to come up with some suggestions. I am pretty sure I took that the wrong way. That’s one thing about texting – sometimes you’re just not quite sure what emphasis to put on which word … was it “me and MY WIFE will figure it out” in an attempt to get me to stop horning in on his family problems, about it or just a mild “me and my wife will figure it out” because he really doesn’t know what to do. I almost wonder if he will contact me again.
And of course there was no invitation although I did say if he needed a hug I could be there in a few hours. And I still don’t know if the rest of his family will be visiting or not.
I must stop overthinking….
But I think I am getting to he place if I don;t see him when I expect to sometime during the next six weeks or so, I am going to have to totally re-think everything – and that’s just something I do not want to do. But I cannot go on indefinitely without seeing him….
Morgan Destera 